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5.8k points · 5 days agoGilded1

I was playing Smash Bros with my family one day. As usual I picked my favorite character, Waluigi. My cousin said to me, "Anon why do you always pick that boring character???" I couldn't contain myself, "HE'S NOT BORING YOU FUCK! HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER! NOT JUST IN THIS GAME BUT OF ALL TIME!" My mommy came running over and swiped the controller right out of my hands. "ANON", she said, "If you're going to be like that on thanksgiving then you should just go to your room!" "FINE!!!" I screeched, holding back tears as I stomped upstairs to my abode.

"They just don't understand" I whimpered tearfully, when suddenly I hear a shuffling in my closet. "W-what was that? Who's there?", I inquired. "it's-a meeee..." the voice cooed. "W-waluigi?" I peeped. The double doors gently opened and from my enormous walk-in closet, my lord and savior, Waluigi, emerged.

He glided towards me, erect. "W-what's this?" I whispered. He did not answer. I felt myself floating backwards onto my bed and I felt a strange arousal come over me. My clothing removed itself from my body, my belt unbuckling of its own accord. Once I was fully exposed I was lifted into the air, and rolled over onto my hands and knees by the Purple One's big, strong arms.

Then... he mounted me... claiming my body for his own. As he enters the cave of the unspoken holy, I feel his warmth encompass me. I feel filled up. I feel complete. With each thrust of his love, met with a "WAH", I feel that I have found my purpose for being. To serve him and his flesh with my flesh. Suddenly, with a mighty "WAHHHHH" he is finished. As his final trumpet of passion sounds, I know that it is finished, that I have served my purpose. I feel him slide out. Flesh out of flesh. And though it was painful I remember that life often is, and to suffer pain for such a great purpose is the only true joy of life. All hail the purple God

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Just imagining the “Wah!” thrust “Wah!” thrust “Wah!” has me dying.

Pretty much any promposal.

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Original Poster1 point · 5 days ago

Fair enough.

Congratulations to the Nigerian national team for winning the World Cup.

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Remember the beginning of last season, when Barcelona had just lost Neymar, they got crushed in the Supercopa, and everyone thought their season was going to be garbage? They ended up winning the league and the Copa del Rey easily! So could it be? We’ve just lost our best player. But what if our team can do the same?

Treble inbound.

Just some food for thought/hope.

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9 comments

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No.

One step at a time. First find us a damn goalscorer to score goals consistently, then talk about “treble”. That word should be the last thing on our mind right now.

And for the UCL? Put in the R16, no more CR7 to bail us out.

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Original Poster1 point · 8 days ago

I’ll get right on that.

Calling Perez right now.

Now I am by no means happy that Ronaldo left, and I don’t mean to go right to the “what’s next” phase, but is there someone currently in the squad who we think will take the 7? I was thinking maybe Asensio could have it.

-8 points · 10 days ago · edited 10 days ago

Oh thank god. So tired of hearing “it’s coming home.” Well, England is coming come. Just no trophy!

Haha! Fuck those diving monkeys. Especially Dele!

Edit: Ha! Downvoting me won’t change the fact that your team got fucked. Gg though, good try. Keep it coming, love the salt.

Edit 2: My language was not intended to be racist. I don’t see it.

England has the best damn professional league on the planet. How the F can't they go above 90 minutes? They look weak.

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It’s not football, it’s LaLiga!

This isn’t Game of Thrones..

This ref has not been calling Brazil’s fouls on Mexico. This is disgusting.

I’m ignorant to these two teams, are they evenly matched?

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Pretty much.

Do we want Dybala?

I would like to see Timo Werner at Real Madrid as a striker. What do you guys think?

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Agreed

[deleted]
-8 points · 26 days ago

[removed]

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Are you actually retarded?

Actually looks more like Hugh Jackman without facial hair.

You clearly didn’t see those two Peruvian ladies.

Come on, you can't just say that and then not include a link to a picture. That's just basic human decency!

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And the mcdonalds clapped

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The employee’s name?

OH MY GOD I GET IT NOW!!!

QT 3.14= cutie pie

Holy shit

I’m not gonna lie, committed yesterday, made it less than 24 hours. I guess I’ll try again? Help, not sure what I can do to try and stop myself.

1 point · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

I’m in. How do I get the counter? Couldn’t find it.

Edit: Never mind. Found it. Still in! We will do this!

u/ProudGentleman
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