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Christopher Columbus statues across the state splattered with red paint by whoisthebossbitch in news

[–]RamsesThePigeon [score hidden]  (0 children)

I’ve lived in the Bay Area most of my life, and I’d never even encountered the phrase “Indigenous People’s Day” before reading your comment.

Your wife must have moved in some pretty progressive circles.

Employers, what's the weirdest thing you've seen an applicant put on their resume? by craigthekorean in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon [score hidden]  (0 children)

A few years back, I had the misfortune of interviewing a fellow for a role in a film shoot. Although the production technically had someone in charge of screening résumés, they were far better versed in the recruiting process than they were in what qualifications were necessary for the job. As a result, less than half an hour before I was supposed to meet with an applicant, I was handed a document that would have made most pathological liars blush.

According to the résumé, my interviewee had been an "uncredited consultant" on over a hundred feature films. While there certainly are cases in which a given worker goes uncredited – it has even happened to me – the sheer magnitude of the fellow's claim went well beyond the realm of believability. Furthermore, the guy had listed quite a few alleged skills that seemed to suggest a less-than-complete knowledge of the industry.

My favorite claim was that he had "expert-level apple box skills."

For the record, an "apple box" is literally a wooden box. That's it. There are a few different sizes, and they're used whenever something needs to be stacked on top of a box.

I went ahead with the interview anyway, if only because I was curious about how the guy would back up his various claims. He turned out to be maybe twenty years old, which was far too young to have worked on many of the films that he had listed. When pressed, he explained that he had "consulted" on each of them by writing letters to the people involved in the productions, in which he outlined several suggestions on various things.

Suffice to say, he didn't get the job... though I'm certain that he listed himself as an "uncredited consultant" on it, simply because he attended the interview.

TL;DR: Lights, camera... exaggeration!

What is the best way to kill time at an airport? by lukester15 in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon [score hidden]  (0 children)

"Count down" is two words when you're using it as a verb.

"Countdown" is a noun.

You count down during a countdown.

You’re a mad scientist, what scientific experiment would you run if money and ethics weren’t an issue? by sunmumyoutube in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon [score hidden]  (0 children)

You'd just be inventing a murder-and-replacement device.

Think of it this way: Would you survive sticking your head into a wood-chipper? If not, why would you survive being torn apart at the atomic level? Transporters of the sort that we've seen in Star Trek just kill the original user and replace them with an exact copy. That copy certain thinks that it's the original, but its life began at the point of assembly, with all of the same memories as the person who died.

Your workaround could be to develop a system like we saw in Portal, though.

What can’t you find on the internet? by nusual_suspect in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back when I was about twelve years old, I found a video.

This was back before the Internet was quite the household staple that it is now; when things could come and go in the blink of an eye. In this case, it's probably a good thing that the video vanished, because I'm pretty sure that it was illegal. Not that I knew any better at the time, mind you: All I saw was a (naked) Russian girl a few years older than me, dancing through some trees near a beach while Enya's "Book of Days" played in the background. To my adolescent eye, the young woman was unbelievably attractive... although I was also such a hormone-addled mess that even a well-proportioned lamp could "pique my interest," so to speak.

Anyway, the video was gone the next time that I went looking for it, and I really wouldn't want to encounter it again... but that was my first exposure to the song in question.

Even twenty years later, I still associate it with softcore pornography of questionable legality.

TL;DR: A (possibly illegal) video of a Russian girl dancing through some trees.

Raisins left in my sink rehydrated and tried to become grapes again by Schonfille in pics

[–]RamsesThePigeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, now you've seen rehydrated raisins.

Sheesh, man. Read your own title!

What is the tl;dr of your life so far? by Grey-Koi in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Prologue: A History of Madness

Chapter 1: The Life of a Menace (Ages 0-9)

Chapter 2: The Seeds of Immortality (Ages 10-15)

Chapter 3: In Which Everything Explodes (Ages 16-18)

Chapter 4: Not Safe for Work (Ages 18-22)

Chapter 5: Pipe Dreams and Progress (Ages 23-25)

Chapter 6: A Rude Awakening (Ages 26-29)

Chapter 7: The Pursuit of "Ha! Penis!" (Ages 30-32)

Chapter 8: Cue the Laugh Track (Ages 33-36)

Chapter 9: Pulitzer? I Barely Know Her! (Ages 38-42)

Chapter 10: The Inevitable Onslaught (Ages 43-50)

Chapter 11: Ambassador to Another Time (Ages 51-60)

Chapter 12: Revelation (Ages 61-70)

Chapter 13: The Fruits of Immortality (Ages 70-80)

Chapter 14: The Death of a Scaled Man (Ages 80-85)

Chapter 15: A New Dawn Rises in the West (Ages 86-105)

Chapter 16: The Story So Far... (Ages 0-116, Abridged)

Epilogue: What Lies Ahead


TL;DR: Welp, that happened... again.

What movie becomes completely different when you watch it for the second time? by Rxdiius in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being There

Not many people are familiar with the film, but it's probably one of the most hilarious (if subtle) comedies to have ever been made. Peter Sellers plays a mentally retarded man by the name of Chance who - following a tragedy that renders him homeless - gets caught up in a case of mistaken identity. As the story progresses, people - powerful people - come to respect and admire the man's incredibly sharp mind and profound insights into everything from economics to social progress... but of course, each and every piece of wisdom that Chance offers is really just an inane statement that other people are misinterpreting.

By the end of the film, Chance is being considered as a potential Presidential candidate.

Go and watch it once. Watch it all the way to the very end.

Then go back and watch it again, and you'll see a completely different film.

What is the best way to kill time at an airport? by lukester15 in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 37 points38 points  (0 children)

  1. Take a selfie in front of an easily recognizable location.
  2. Set that selfie as your default image on Facebook.
  3. Download and sign in to Tinder.
  4. Set your match distance to one mile.
  5. Write in your profile that you'll be waiting at the location in your profile.
  6. Start matching with people.
  7. Discreetly record the goings-on when folks come to meet you.
  8. Publish the results to YouTube with the title "Triple Tinder Match GONE WRONG! (GONE AIRPORT!!!)" or something similar.
  9. Monetize the video.
  10. Post a link to the video on various social media platforms.

TL:DR: Fun and profit.

If you were task to redesign the human body, What would you want to change? by humtydu in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but... you're a computer-controlled entity.

"NPC" stands for "non-player character," not "non-playable character." It means you're a program; a piece of scenery.

Don't be sad, though! That's all any of us are!

Matt Groening drawn by Seth MacFarlane and Seth MacFarlane drawn by Matt Groening by DraftDraw in pics

[–]RamsesThePigeon 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Apostrophes are easy! I'm sure you could get them with a little bit of practice.


If a noun needs a possessive quality, use an apostrophe followed by an S.

If you need to abbreviate a date – as with '20s, for instance – put an apostrophe before the numbers.

If you're writing a contraction (like "you're," just then), the apostrophe divides the two pieces.

Do not ever use an apostrophe to pluralize a noun. There are edge cases, sure, but they're rare, and there are better ways of writing them.


That's it! That's all you need! When in doubt, you can refer to those standards.

What's your most unbelievable "pics or it didn't happen" moment, whereby you actually have the pics to prove it happened? by Carla_Dempsey in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I dressed up as an original superhero called "The Valiant Creeper" and terrorized a convenience store.

Sylvester Stallone once stopped by my old office to pitch a concept for a mobile video game.

I was part of the team that developed the first-ever entertainment title for Google Glass.

The diamond-studded buttplug I made for a friend is still one of his most treasured possessions.

I was on Mythbusters as a zombie.

What's a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time? by Genevieve_Blaser in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 23 points24 points  (0 children)

One did one orphan say to the other?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Science fiction only becomes nonfiction when it doesn't violate the laws of physics.

Maintaining a controlled flight path will always require more energy than moving something along the ground. That's just how the universe works. Similarly speaking, acceleration due to gravity will always be an applicable force. This isn't about what I believe, it's just incredibly basic science. You're welcome to reject that if you want, but saying that you're done discussing a given topic doesn't suddenly make a flawed argument into an unassailable one.

Matt Groening drawn by Seth MacFarlane and Seth MacFarlane drawn by Matt Groening by DraftDraw in pics

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't recall the first two movies having motorcycle-based action scenes or battles being won via broadcasts of the Beastie Boys.

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't talking about the movie. I was telling you that the variety of fuel doesn't matter.

You can say "agree to disagree" all you want. It doesn't change the fact that the laws of physics are firmly against your idea.

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think you know what "agree to disagree" means.

Still, if I genuinely seem angry, I apologize. From my perspective, though, it seems like you really want to keep hold of a fantasy that wouldn't serve any practical purpose, and this is despite having had the realities of the situation explained to you.

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The variety of fuel doesn't matter in the slightest. More energy is required to lift and propel a mass against gravity than is required to accelerate the same mass along the ground. You could have a miniature fusion reactor powering your vehicle, and you'd still use considerably more fuel in a flying car than a land-bound one.

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The laws of physics won't suddenly change just because the laws associated with driving have. Flying cars are absolutely possible, they're just an absurdly stupid idea.

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Those rules already exist for transportation on the ground. They don't stop collisions, runaway cars, mechanical failures, or accidents caused by operator error.

I mean just even hovering or "flying" above the ground so you wouldn't need to worry about road conditions like water or ice on the road.

As we discussed in another comment, that's a dumb idea. You'd be wasting an exponentially greater amount of fuel for the privilege of not having tires, and an accident of any variety would still be much more damaging. Dropping a car from a height of two meters is the equivalent of ramming it into a wall at eleven miles an hour. Add that vector to any lateral velocity, and you're looking at the difference between scratching a car and totaling it.

Think it could actually be safer.

Then you aren't thinking.

If you were task to redesign the human body, What would you want to change? by humtydu in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Don't worry! You'll be able to download the Appendix DLC in the spring!

[Serious] Conspiracy Theorists/Scientists/etc of Reddit, what technological breakthroughs do you suspect already exist, but are kept secret? by Plazzed in AskReddit

[–]RamsesThePigeon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That has more to do with a proposed loophole in general relativity than something that might actually by theoretically possible. This article discusses some layman's concepts for how time travel could be achieved via more "conventional" means, but even those often include concepts which have yet to be proven outside of mathematical equations.