It implies one party of the 'friendship' is willing to put effort into the relationship only if romantic feelings are reciprocated. When they're not that person throws the entire friendship away because it's perceived as an utterly useless insult called the "friend zone."
I don't know if I explained it fully or if that aspect is what the above poster was referring to, but that's my main beef with the term. Friends don't throw it in your face that you're unwilling to sleep with them by invalidating the entire friendship like something is being inflicted on them. If someone uses that term, I kind of assume they're a shitty friend to people and avoid emotional investment.
On the other hand, I feel like guys should realize that you don't have to be friends with a girl that you really like..
You just want to bang this girl? Alright, rub one out, settle down, if she's cool and you like her company enough, just realize that you don't have to bang every hot girl..
In the inverse, if you've had a crush on a girl for a while, (a real crush, not a "shes so hot and kinda cool i guess, and your heart gets a twang every time you see her,) and she's simply not interested in anything but friendship, yet you don't want that, there's nothing wrong with walking away from that friendship.
The friend zone is a real thing.. If a cute girl doesn't want to date, but realizes you're good company, that's great! You can have attractive friends.
But if it's that girl.. That one girl that's just kinda different from the others, and she's made it abundantly clear you're just friends... Well, there's nothing wrong with walking away when every time you hang out, your heart hurts..
The big thing, which is hard for people who would identify even slightly as an incel, is realizing that not every cute girl who you enjoy talking to would make a good partner. Some girls are better off being left as friends.. Think before you act, "Is this girl really someone I could imagine myself getting along with forever, or is she just fun to talk to sometimes?"
Umm, is casual sex now taboo generally or somet
Nobody is saying that. That wasn't even implied in my comment. Friends with benefits is FAR different from being in the friendzone.. You've got an attractive friend, who doesn't want to date, but wants some extra company? Great! Go for it. Just don't get hung up when it doesn't turn into anything more than that.
I'm strictly talking about "You like a girl, yet she tells everyone that she thinks of you like a brother."
You're never going to bang, and that's obviously not solely what you want, you want something more, so if it's bad enough just walk away..
These are 4 different things. 2 people liking each other. 1 person liking the other without reciprocation. 2 attractive friends who want extra company. And 2 friends who just want to keep it that way.
I think you're equating a couple of those together.. Nothing wrong with casual sex. Not sure why you conflated those.
Oh.. We got a fancy one over here... I use player fm for my podcasts.
Fancy? You said to search on my app of choice and I told you that.. Didn't think I had to download a 3rd party Podcast app.
Not a big deal
Well I didn't think you were going to use a 3rd party music app to search for podcasts. Spotify's podcast library is lacking. I would suggest finding a dedicated podcast app for podcasts. But, like you said, it's no big deal. Spotify might work fine for you.
I think I will try perusing for a Podcast app. I appreciate the help.
You have described my life and what I've been dealing with everyday for the past 5 or so months since I started this new job..
I just can't talk to anyone the way I want to, and the small talk "trying to be NT" type of stuff gets absolutely exhausting.
I've finally found one person to talk to at work, she's pretty cool, we just stand around and shoot the shit for up to an hour sometimes.
The thing is, 98% of people drain energy when I talk to them, and the struggle is looking for those 2% that give me energy and boost my mood when i'm talking to them. I cherish those people, and often have to slow myself down and not approach too much cause I don't want to be seen as clingy and scare them off..
It's a delicate social world out here for us.
I always like to use a random question as an ice breaker, it may seem wacky but it honestly works 9/10 times. For instance, "What's your favourite shape" or "Whats your favourite dinosaur?" people usually don't know how to open up a conversation and it feels stunted and slow, opening with a question so out of left field loosens them up a bit, even if they just laugh, it opens them up a bit to you and chances are they'll reciprocate with another question or dialogue. It's all about leading the conversation.
If someone comes up to me and asks me what my favorite dinosaur is I'm immediately going to shut the conversation down as soon as I can.. Too random is too random, and I will instantly know this is not going to end up being a conversation I find interesting or worthwhile..
Obviously everybody is different, but this seems like a conversation starter for 14 year olds at Hot Topic.. I'm sure I'm being far to cynical, and it's just me, but depending on my mood I'm assuming I'm not going to be interested in having a "Buddy the Elf" type conversation.
I don't know if you don't believe him or haven't heard it before, but blacks use marijuana equally to whites but are 3.73 times more likely to be arrested for it.
Not quite NY specific but..
You gotta do a loootta mental gymnastics to get to that conclusion..
Even so, you don't find it unsettling that all the blacks are stuffed into the projects together, living in an open air prison, constantly being followed by police until they make the simplest slip up?
No matter how you word it, where the problem stems from, it is institutionalized racism and an injustice being done to these people. There is massive racism mixed in through the entire process, not just one point.
If someone has the money and wants to eat and eat... let them. This shit is fucking stupid.
It's none of our business.
Once parents start passing it down to children and forcing them to develop the same unhealthy habits, then yes it does become a dilemma. It is something you have to fix.
Posting pictures of you flexing in the mirror on Snapchat..
Now Instagram I feel slightly differently. Those pictures are technically permanent and a lot of people use their Instagram as a personal photo album to look back on. Whatever you're into..
Snapchat however is not permanent. You're posting solely so other people will see you flexing. Could I delete my friends that post these random flex pics on their stories? Yes. But some of them are old friends that I enjoy keeping in touch with. But it's exhausting going down my stories and seeing your 3rd flex pic of the week.
I honestly don't understand. Why would you think anyone cares that you're at the gym?
Cutting people off in conversations
Over the course of my life I've developed this habit while also consciously trying to combat it.
My ADHD is so bad that if I don't get a point off when I think of it, it'll be gone.. If it's just a small comment, I just leave it and probably forget, but if it's a point that I've deemed important and should be said, I'll quick put it in.
Sorry guys but sometimes people talk for too long without letting someone else in. Especially if I feel like someone isn't being courteous enough to allow me a chance to reply without moving onto their next thought.. Sometimes it's "Yep, I hear ya, but let me respond to it, sheesh."
May I introduce you to the Trump tax plan? Many, many loopholes closed, and tax breaks across the board.
As far as Bernie goes, I'm an open Trump supporter, and was through the election, so it may not mean much, but my main beef with Bernie is, that despite him being an open socialist, and criticizing others for owning multiple homes, owns three of them. He's a massive hypocrite.
To be noted: I do fully understand that he is taking full advantage of his situation, and I don't fault him (if I was able to own three homes, you could bet you ass I would,) but his repeated comments about how the rich don't need multiple homes lacks substance when you own three yourself. (I believe he owned two during the campaign.)
If you run on a platform, you should adhere to your claimed beliefs as much as possible.
Have you actually read any of the loopholes closed? Because there are really none.. They didn't come out with a bill that closed loopholes, in fact they added a lot, especially ones that benefit real estate moguls..
I'm not trying to shit on Trump himself or anything, but the Republican party (and Democrats, let's be realistic) were more than okay with adding more deductions for corporate industries... The tax went from 35% to 25% and lasts forever. The small cuts for lower class only lasts 10 years. Why?
They even had the audacity to get rid of state and local taxes.. That's the only deduction that a lot of poor and middle class people have, and they scrapped it.. Why?
You can love Trump, the way he talks, the things he says, etc.. But when he's not actually doing any of the things that he's campaigning for, when he says something and literally does the exact opposite, how do you defend him if you're not rich? I really don't understand..
Saying you support the tax cuts means you just haven't read into them. It tells me that you solely get your economic news from Fox Business.
Oh absolutely, apart from every single detail. The math especially, that little detail really killed him.
I urge you to watch one of his most recent town halls if you don't think Bernie has done the math on his proposals a hundred times over.
I'm not exactly sure where you're getting it. Have you just heard "that Universal Healthcare Is impossible" so many times from corporate media that you believe them?
Have you done the math? Could you please post your equations. I'd love to see how you've figured it.
What? I don't think universal healthcare is unattainable, of course it is. It's far simpler than that, not enough people voted for him.
Umm, my bad.. That's just not what your comment came across as to me. Definitely sounded like you were saying he has no economic sense to him.
I still can't read it and think that you aren't personally attacking him the way you worded it, but so it goes!
I like to think of what the world could be if different people were in charge of music and movie industries. If things were chosen based on something other than money alone. Entertainment has so much influence, more than tends to be recognized because you dont recognize it yourself in the moment. But when people are bombarded with the same ideas over and over, it has an influence. Especially young people who see current entertainment and process it is what is normal, even for older people certain ideas and looks repeat themselves. Looking back, as a teenager, i was definitely influenced by media and did not recognize it at the time. To be clear, i dont mean influenced to go act out a plot, but influencing my underlying thoughts on appearence, what makes a person valuable, how the real world operates and what path will lead me to success and happiness. I dunno, i dont really know how to explain what i am trying to get at. All i can say, is that it influenced my underlying thoughts on any given week. And i honestly think that it has some relation to the widespread anxiety and low self esteem that has grown in kids/teens face today at numbers not seen before. Even as we expand to show more racial inclusivity we continue to only cast beautiful people, who are less attractive or even just mildly overweight ONLY if it is part of the script. By and large the normal/happy/successful/loved characters are beautiful people, with buff and perfect bodies and beautiful faces. We dont show what the regular teen looks like, not for the face nor body. Hell, we cast fucking adults in teen movies as teens. And then we edit and airbrush everything. It makes me so sad to be on Facebook and see that not one of my friends feels comfortable enough to post an un-edited picture of themselves. Going on instagram makes me even sadder. From the Kardashians to the “influencers”, bodies are always edited and facial features enhances.
TL;DR Today almost everyone has a computer at their fingertips constantly, and at younger and younger ages. The amount of media consumed daily is like 100 fold what we did just 10-20 years ago. Some ideas and traits and standards are repeated over and over and you can consume 100 different videos where you dont remember the topic but the common theme is engraved in your mind. With all this it should really be no surprise that teenagers today are at a crisis point where more and more are faced with crippling anxiety or depression. They think they are ugly, they have no self esteem. Even a channel like Disney who is becoming more racially inclusive just is not showing the average kid or teen but teens absorb what they see and believe it is how they should look, how most people their age look, believe that not looking that way makes them ugly or less worthy. When these issues are faces in mid and late teens they can have an impact on their futures, too.
Wish i was more eloquent, hopefully some of yall see what i am getting at.
Ninja edit: holy fucking long batman, changing last paragraph to a TL;DR but it too is already long. Its early and my brain hasnt fully awaken yet, ive failed reddit
You should add more breaks and paragraphs to your comments instead of having a wall of text. I can't be reading all this..
It's not even close to too long. Fucking kids have no attention span at all these days.
Ill admit, yes, you're right, I do have ADHD and Dyslexia.. But even the average person doesn't want to read a wall of text with no real punctuation, spacing, and breaks to it..
Wanna know why books are separated into paragraphs? Because nobody wants to read a damn book that doesn't have spacing... Nobody wants to lose their place over and over in a giant wall of text.
So yea. Sorry about the attention span, but I'm only trying to help your friend be an interesting person to read.
That's pretty tucked up to ask you that, even as a joke... plenty of priests are genuinely good people who want to help their community.
Hmm, maybe the church should speak put against sexual assault more instead of constantly covering it up, and maybe people would stop assuming that right away..
Most stereotypes stem from a bit of truth.. Over the years there's been a lot of evidence fueling that stereotype, and very few people inside the church speaking out and asking for reform.
Not trying to be "anti religion" or anything, but these guys have the first move..
Seventeen is 70, right?
It's 17. Teens are 13-19..
Since you'd never say "Ten Seven" In English, you put the number of the "teen" first..
Seventeen is like the "Seventh Teen".
Eleven (11) and Twelve (12) you just have to remember. Saying OneTeen or TwoTeen makes absolutely no sense to someone who speaks English.
English is my only language, and I'm honestly starting to confuse myself by trying to explain it..
So your argument is "If you don't give some people 'enough' out of other people's income, you have to expect that they will murder people."
My point exactly you have no idea what’s going on
You've made 0 points towards your argument other than "You're an idiot."
You're trying to tell us that we have no idea what's going on? These people are attacking back with burning kites and rocks... The Israelis have nukes and military weaponry. The Palestinians are hitting Tear gas grenades back with tennis rackets.. The Israelis are shooting them with snipers..
You're wrong and disgusting.
That is such an insane an ignorant statement, and frankly very dangerous. Israelis protecting their borders due to tens of thousands of people attacking with molotov cocktails and shouting "death to jews" is quite different than a systematic killing of a people.
Israel was using snipers on these people, live ammunition. Their excuse? Our rubber bullets couldn't reach them..
So tell me how a protester with a rock and a Molotov is supposed to hit one of the soldiers.. Does that make sense to you? They're oppressed by Israel, literally living in an open air prison, unable to leave, no control of their economy, no control of their government. So fucking sick of people acting like ISRAEL are the oppressed ones...
Yes, the country with every other nation standing behind them, who have nukes and all the power- they are the victims.. Wouldn't want to get dinked on the head with a rock for committing a massacre on the Palestinians, that would be anti semitic!
0 Israelians have died. 60 Palestinians have been murdered from over 700m away.. Don't tell me that these protesters are attacking the border.
I'd love to see you imprisoned in your own city by muslims, attack back, and have people say that you're just anti muslim.. It's not a race thing. The Palestinians are oppressed.