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2.7k points · 1 day agoGilded1 · edited 1 day ago

As a new father, I've been singing this lullaby to my infant:

Hush little baby, don't you hurt, Mueller's gonna indict you a Manafort

If that Manafort won't sing, Mueller's gonna indict you a Russian ring

If those Russians can't be caged, Mueller's gonna indict you a Carter Page

If that Carter won't atone, Mueller's gonna indict you a Roger Stone

If that Roger calls his goons, Mueller's gonna indict you a Devin Nunes

If that Devin won't poop bricks, Mueller's gonna indict you a Hope-y Hicks

If that Hope protects her Don, Mueller's gonna indict you a Steve Bannon

If that Bannon drinks his gin, Mueller's gonna indict you a Steve Mnuchin

If that Mnuchin's not a talker, Mueller's gonna indict you a Roh-ra-bacher

If that Roh-ra-bacher drinks tea, Mueller's gonna indict you a Trey Gowdy

If that Gowdy ain't convinced, Mueller's gonna indict you an Erik Prince

If that Erik Prince won't plea, Mueller's gonna indict Lewan-dow-ow-ski

If that Corey just won't sway, Mueller's gonna indict Kellyanne Conway

If that Kellyanne endures, Mueller's gonna indict Jared Kush-y-ner

If that Jared hides the truth, Mueller's gonna indict you a Scara-mooch

If that Scara-mooch goes free, Mueller's gonna indict Giuli-a-na-ni

If that Rudy won't stop blowin', Mueller's gonna indict you a Michael Cohen

If that Michael just won't stir, Mueller's gonna indict you a Trump Junior

If that Junior still survives, Mueller's gonna indict you a 45

And she falls right asleep. Yes this is original content, and no I don't know where to post it.

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For the love of god we need someone to record this.

I was going to ask OP if he wanted to record it. I could potentially write some music for it.

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you're hired!

63 points · 2 days ago

Or a deep conspiracy by globalist entity plotters. Or a conspiring plot by deep entities around the globe. Or some other arrangement of the same 6 words to propagate the same fucking idea.

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Are you the Peoples Front of Judea?

Piss off.

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I laughed at “Wednesday school”.

In my high school, that was nothing more than a five hour mega detention you got for doing something really stupid.

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story time! How stupid was it?

Remember when Bernie challenged him to a debate and he was all "It's my dream to debate Bernie!" and then refused to debate Bernie?

Not gonna lie, I've watched a lot less TV and read a lot more news in the last 2 years. Ass-clenching fear is a form of entertainment, right?

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currently? yes.

-17 points · 3 days ago

Because he didn’t commit a crime, he didn’t obstruct and he’s been telling the truth throughout.

You folks do know the whole Russia conspiracy is based on the Trump Dossier which was paid for by Clinton, right? It’s been driven by Comey and McCabe lies, both of whom were fired from the FBI for bias and corruption.

Twenty years from now all of you fools will look back and realize how badly the media and the Washington establishment manipulated you so they could keep their corrupt power game running.

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HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH...bless your heart.

Agree... but it’s hard not to Clark Griswold though...

“WORSE?! HOW COULD THINGS GET ANY WORSE?! TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU ELLEN! WE’RE AT THE THRESHOLD OF HELL!!”

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fuck...I needed that.

From the indictment of Butina yesterday. There is a very real possibility the G O P leadership is also compromised https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1019070227143954439?s=19

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great googly moogly.

Flashback alert. I haven't heard this saying in 30 years.

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Who are the Chefs?

yeah, piss tapes is nothing, unless its something he can be jailed for its meaningless

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My guess is that he's literally physically beating women in a hotel room. He was told he could do anything he wanted to some prostitutes and he chose to assault them. It fits his personality type.

52 points · 10 days ago · edited 10 days ago

Papa Johns, also the company and ceo that said funding health benefits to employees was impossible because it might cost an extra nickel a pizza.

Edit: also a major Trump donor...

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I think it was eleven cents.

Sometimes it just keeps getting dark.

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it's always darkest right before things go completely black.

Thirteen of the 25 neo-Nazis and white supremacists are being represented by James E. Kolenich, a Cincinnati-area lawyer committed to protecting white civil rights, and Elmer Woodard, a lawyer from Virginia, who previously appeared in court on behalf of white nationalist Chris Cantwell in a separate lawsuit, wearing an 1800’s-style red waistcoat replete with gold buttons, topped off with a straw boater hat.

Seriously, what is it with white supremacists and this weird LARPing shit?

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it's how they genuinely see themselves.

93 points · 15 days ago · edited 15 days ago

You could change it to a: "My President sold the country to a hostile foreign power and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" T-shirt and sell those anywhere.

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does it come in a hoody? I'm kind of a hoody guy...

Original Poster119 points · 16 days ago · edited 16 days ago

Wilbur was supposed to sell his Invesco stock by the end of May. He sold it in December, a delay he said was due to oversight, and it had risen in value by seven figures.

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I'm shocked to find out that there is gambling going on in this establishment.

"Mr. English said in a news release that he withdrew to focus on family and his Hampton law firm, which focuses on elder law, estate planning, wills and trusts."

I'm betting he cheated on his wife with an old lady or man that he was defrauding.

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porque no los dos?

Louie Gohmert regularly needs to be reminded to breathe, lest he forget.

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It takes Louie Gohmert an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

Facebook is like cigarettes.

No matter how bad it is, people will still say "yeah, I know.... but I need it."

There is no logic, only an admission of guilt with no will to change.

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hey man...you got a cig on you?

Nah... wanna check my timeline though? Frank and Jennifer are totes "it's complicated" right now.

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...like.

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