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What is extremely rare but people think it’s very common? by Uhhlaneuh in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 7524 points7525 points  (0 children)

Australian here. Know a guy so petrified of flying he elected to drive from the northernmost point of Australia to the southernmost point, then drive his car on to a boat which shipped them to Tasmania .. then all the way back again.

All told this was about a 10,000km trip (they had other stops up the east coast). I'm not an expert but I figure weighing up the 10,000km through outback Australia combined with major city CBD's on the way to the destination and the risk of death or serious injury I can only imagine would be MUCH, MUCH higher than just flying for a few hours.

67-year-old man dies from heart attack after catching prized Pokemon 'Lapras' at MBS by xlanor in nottheonion

[–]complex_reduction 6225 points6226 points  (0 children)

I would like to believe he was very happy in his last waking moment.

Bored, entitled SJW college students at Berkley decide preventing other students from getting to class is a good idea. by Richard_Nixon__ in videos

[–]complex_reduction 3602 points3603 points  (0 children)

Tumblr has taught me that if you're a black person who doesn't agree with SJW anti-white extremism then you're suffering from internalised racism and unconsciously hate yourself, which is the fault of white people.

Man Vs Wild Assistant Director - Ask Me Anything! by KenTheExAD in IAmA

[–]complex_reduction 3174 points3175 points  (0 children)

It's important not to interfere with natural selection.

Reddit, can you blow my mind in one sentence? by scourgedemon in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 2742 points2743 points  (0 children)

"Give someone an anonymous username and they'll show their penis."

Redditors who are against smoking/ the legalization of marijuana, why do you feel this way? by Babykickenpro in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 2598 points2599 points  (0 children)

I am pro-marijuana, anti-stoners.

Seriously, I don't care less if people smoke marijuana, I just want them to shut the FUCK up about it.

What is extremely rare but people think it’s very common? by Uhhlaneuh in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 2587 points2588 points  (0 children)

True story, met a bloke in Darwin once, was his life dream to ride his motorcycle through central Australia from south to north to back again.

Poor cunt made it to Darwin then paid somebody to ship his bike back down south while he bought a plane ticket. Said it was the most boring trip of his life and he couldn't stand to do it twice.

Always feel for those people spending four figures on tickets on the Ghan. Never seen scrub before?

[Serious] What job do you have that many people don't know exists? by FreedomEagle1 in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1813 points1814 points  (0 children)

I basically go onto oil rigs and ultrasonic scan the shit out of pipes and welds to make sure they don't blow up.

Makes sense.

It's a hard job to explain to people.

Dunno mate you did alright the first time.

Has your SO ever revealed something about themselves or their life that made you call it quits right then and there? If so, what was it? by aundrayac in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1768 points1769 points  (0 children)

This one made me laugh because of the sheer ridiculousness.

"I saw a really hot guy today. Fuck you for being less attractive than that guy."

"Wut?"

Man doesn't want to sell his Subaru by dmcadidas15 in funny

[–]complex_reduction 1732 points1733 points  (0 children)

But then his wife might find out. Game over man. Game over.

Two aussie blokes witness robbery, one takes thieves car keys and chases them by coke21 in videos

[–]complex_reduction 1674 points1675 points  (0 children)

Well some of our criminals do have guns, but it's more the "organised crime" sorts than the "random fucktard" types.

What's the sluttiest thing you've ever done? (NSFW) by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1605 points1606 points  (0 children)

Step 1) Meet roommate.

Step 2) Insert and/or receive penis (or whichever extremities/orifices/objects you so desire).

Step 3) Post comment on Reddit.

Practically Shakespeare.

Drunk and hungry last night. Conditions were right. by [deleted] in food

[–]complex_reduction 1596 points1597 points x2 (0 children)

You people who post these "drunk and hungry" pictures of meticulously arranged gourmet meals have obviously never been drunk before. Half a glass of wine does not constitute drunkenness.

Even if you were Gordon Ramsey and somehow maintained your ability to cook a steak while utterly blitzkrieged, there's absolutely zero chance you'd plate it up all pretty-like and piss around taking a photo for Reddit.

A genuinely drunk chef would solemnly contemplate the trials and tribulations involved with making random fancy rice with asparagus and pile of miscellaneous orange, decide he can't be fucked, fill the entire house with dense smoke by overheating the pan, cook the steak only on one side ("Forgot about the second side"), burn himself pulling the steak out with his bare hands ("Pssh it's not THAT hot"), slide down to the floor, eat the mostly raw steak with his bare hands, remember he hadn't turned off the gas and the pan is now on fire, realise he can't find his way to the bedroom because the smoke is too thick, and decide to sleep on the kitchen floor. He would be woken up by his wife kicking him lovingly asking why he threw her favourite frying pan into the pool.

Marvel's 'The Punisher' officially gets own Netflix series by jimatx in television

[–]complex_reduction 1537 points1538 points  (0 children)

I'm beginning to develop a Pavlovian orgasm response to the words "Netflix series".

TIL no physical clone trooper armor was ever produced for Star Wars prequels. Every Clone trooper was CGI. by spartanss300 in todayilearned

[–]complex_reduction 1450 points1451 points  (0 children)

The prequel battles were awesome. It was the acting/plot that was bullshit, not the battles.

What's the most overrated tourist attraction? by therapeuticsmiles in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1451 points1452 points  (0 children)

So if I'm reading this thread correctly, literally every square inch of the planet is overrated and shitty. I guess I'll just stay in the basement then.

What is a non-racist, non-sexist, and non "hateful" opinion you have that would make people dislike you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1414 points1415 points  (0 children)

I know a guy who used to smoke weed all the time, for years. Then he got a job at a place that does regular drug tests, he can't smoke pot anymore.

All he ever talks about basically 24/7 is how much he misses smoking pot and how shitty life is when you're not high all the time. He will find a way to insert this into every conversation.

He constantly goes on about how he can't wait for pot to be legalised so he can smoke pot all day (at work, at home, while driving, 24/7). I tried to explain to him that pot being legal doesn't mean you can smoke it at work, he just about had a breakdown and is now in denial. He seems to genuinely believe (or hope?) that in the near future the world will be a pot paradise with 100% of people stoned 100% of the time.

He stopped drinking alcohol because "being drunk reminds me of being high". He's like a reverse alcoholic. He's so obsessed with pot that being drunk depresses him because he's drunk, not high.

"Not addictive" my ass. I'm not saying pot is better or worse than any other drug, just that this "it's harmless 420 blaze it" attitude pisses me off.

EDIT: Half dozen replies saying "You can get addicted to anything!!!!!!!!", want to nip this in the bud ASAP. You're probably right. I didn't suggest otherwise.

What potentially relationship-ending secrets are you keeping from you SO? by hipsterferret in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1412 points1413 points  (0 children)

That is the sort of thing that is completely not your fault, but everybody would probably blame you for. I would not tell her.

Proud Owner of an Award-Winning Butthole by AsaAkira1 in IAmA

[–]complex_reduction 1408 points1409 points  (0 children)

Reads title: "What the fuck?"

Reads username: "Ah, right."

Tattoo artists of Reddit, what clients irritate you the most? by Donkeyshrek in AskReddit

[–]complex_reduction 1371 points1372 points  (0 children)

while demanding her friend present her tits to grab for comfort.

Am I reading this correctly: a girl is getting a tattoo, her friends are there, she demands one of her friends expose her boobs so that she can squeeze them?

Is ... is that something that happens? Is that a thing?

Why doesn't this exist already? by ZerosSamurai in funny

[–]complex_reduction 1287 points1288 points  (0 children)

"How hard is it to put the lid down!?"

"How hard is it to pull the lid up!?"

Most fucking ridiculous argument ever.

Ban lifted on Medicare coverage for sex change surgery: The Obama administration on Friday ended a 33-year ban on Medicare coverage for gender reassignment surgery by piede in politics

[–]complex_reduction 1250 points1251 points  (0 children)

Without entering too far into this internet social justice minefield, there are a lot of comments in this thread, "This is totally life-saving surgery because otherwise people kill themselves!".

That's not what "life-saving surgery" means.

"I need surgery immediately or I will die" is not the same as "I want surgery or else I will kill myself".