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What about when you say something that isn't intended to be mean, but they get offended by it?

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We were both fairly depressed when we started dating. Hence why the relationship turned bad.

We broke up because we knew things weren't good. We both started going to therapy. We mutually agreed to stay living together because I have a big house to live in for free and she's pretty broke. We mutually agreed to work on a healthy friendship. We get along pretty well most of the time. She explored her feelings with a mutual friend of ours. I was okay with that. I went on a few dates with a few other girls. Nothing serious, I like my independence. Everything was looking like a surprisingly healthy friendship for 2 people who used to date with only the occasional episode where I had to remind her not to boyfriend me.

Now, I keep talking more about me moving out of state(not with her). And she would keep trying to hint that we "may not be dating, but we have a relationship." And depending on if I want a fight/meltdown or not I either ignore it or tell her no, we're just friends.

This kind of thing has been happening more over the past several weeks. I think she's completely ignoring that we're not a couple anymore and I'm just in denial because I like to avoid conflict. But now just 2 weeks ago, I tell her about an awesome girl I met and she had a complete meltdown telling me she still has feelings for me. I don't know why this time is different. We've been broke up for 4 years now and I've dated girls before without issues.

Now it's been every other day that she'll skip work to come berate me until I say something that she can take as giving her hope that we're still together in some way. I've been nothing but clear in telling her that I want to be single, and I want to live alone. I tell her I won't throw her on the streets, I'll let her find a place. She won't let that happen. She berates me for hours. She won't let me leave. If I leave, she finds me at work because she knows when I have to be there. She tells me I'm saying mean things when all I tell her is I want to live alone and be single.

Right now, she's leaving me alone to prove that she can give me space and we can go back to the good friends that we were. She's coming back on Monday. I expect things will be somewhat okay if niether of us bring up anything serious but I know this isn't over. I'm done denying. I know we don't have a healthy friendship. She's still attached to me. She won't move out, she won't let me move away and she won't let me start seriously dating someone else.


tl;dr: My ex won't let me break up with her. How do I get her to move out of my house?

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4 comments

Maybe this is insane but I feel like bees and moths are getting stupider. I keep seeing bees walking along the street looking confused as fuck, then they seem to be dead the next day. This is a bad sign for agriculture.

In further agriculture news, I keep reading farming websites and the farmers continue to care not a shit about the planet. The EU is trying to ban bee killing pesticides which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do. But the farmers only care about profit so make up pathetic excuses like 'without pesticides there would be fewer flowers for bees to pollinate'. You are a farmer, maybe fucking plant some if you are so concerned in place of your monoculture wheat. Farmers are fucking stupid and they are the base of our society.

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37 points · 1 year ago

I'm a farmer and I say "farmers are so stupid!" almost daily.

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20 points · 1 year ago

" is still just about possible"

Double-plus-good Babe.

She's throwing a "Hail Mary" pass well after the game clock expired and the players are in the locker room.

This kind of desperation is to be expected and should come as no surprise to any seasoned collapse watcher. What else do terrified humans have to cling to but retard levels of optimism or out right denial?

I'm down with all of it. I just squirm at the thought of my loved ones suffering especially my twin 10 year old nieces - what a paradox they were born into. Protected and spoiled (good) Canadian middle class so far, but it's just a matter of time until it flips over to a dystopian horror show. Woe.

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I chuckled at the picture you painted here.

"She's throwing a "Hail Mary" pass well after the game clock expired and the players are in the locker room."

Inb4 we find out this is the result of some sort of painful illness or neurological disorder that causes them to do this.

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I won't confirm that these cows are injured. Cows can be in that position but in my experience, they only stay like that for any amount of time when they're hip is dislocated or their spine is injured.

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I came here to share a mindset that I've recently adopted that's making me feel good. I feel it's similar to Guy McPherson's message.

The status quo is currently leading us off a cliff. Therefore the status quo has no credibility in influencing how you live your life. You should be spending your life doing what makes you happy. Don't stay at a job you hate because the pay is good. Don't let negative people compromise your well being.

Now that I'm writing this out, it doesn't sound like anything profound. But I think that's the point I was trying to make, collapse or no collapse, be you, live the life you want to live. I'm mostly writing this for myself because I feel like I heard this kind of life advice but it took knowledge of collapse to actually get me to start building my life into the life I want it to be.

I'm done with my meaningless material possessions. I'm done spending money on stuff I don't need. My job is contributing to the destruction of the biosphere. I love the biosphere and freetime and I don't really like working. Therefore I should aim to work as little as possible by spending as little as possible.

I'm done spending time around negative people. They affect me way too much. There's so many beautiful loving people to hang around, I don't have time for anyone negative. Again, this makes sense collapse or no collapse but for some reason, I needed the knowledge of collapse to actually start heeding this kind of advice.

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5 comments

Very similarly to psychedelic trips, it's not always profound and magical. Sometimes it's dark, lonely and forces you to face your own bullshit that maybe you were trying to ignore or escape from. And also similar to psychedelic trips, those times where it's not all profound and magical, can sometimes be more valuable than the good times. You learn and grow from the bad times.

Comment deleted1 year ago

I don't disagree with this theory but why do people who love these games still have kids?

Check out the Simon-Ehrlich wager. These economically untrained people keep predicting the worst, and being proved wrong. They don't admit getting it wrong, they simply claim their time estimate meant something different to how it sounded.

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Original Poster6 points · 1 year ago

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon–Ehrlich_wager

I don't get hung up on dates either. I get hung up on our trajectory. Let's use oil as an example. Just because we haven't run out of oil doesn't mean that peak oil has been proven wrong. Individuals who pick a date for when we'll no longer extract oil have been proven wrong. For peak oil to have been proven wrong we would need proof that it naturally replenishes faster than we extract it.

Economists don't seem to care about peak oil. As oil becomes increasingly difficult to extract, the price compared to other energy sources will rise, leading consumers (and investment) to switch to the new cheapest energy.

Google "spontaneous order"

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Original Poster2 points · 1 year ago

Yup, the issue with that is we have nothing that comes close to the energy returned on energy invested to that of the first oil fields. It used to be we'd spend one barrel of oil to yield 100 barrels. Now it's less than 10 for tar sands and ocean floor fields. Corn ethanol is almost a 1:1 ratio. We spend the equivalent of a barrel of oil to get slightly more than the equivalent of a barrel of oil when we make ethanol. If we were smart, we'd be using the last remaining cheap oil we have to build up a long lasting renewable and nuclear infrastructure. Wind turbines, solar panels, batteries, and hydro dams and nuclear power plants all require a ton of fossil fuel input to be built.

I have land that I can play with. I'm restoring parts of it to what it looked like in 1491. Other parts, I'm maximizing biodiversity with beneficial(to humans and wildlife) plants with an emphasis on species that prefer warmer temperatures. Basically a big food forest.

I could sit down and say that learning different skills is just a pointless endeavor, or I can let it all ride on the chance that I can do something of value.

Great point. We're all going to die. But we do have some control over how we die and what sort of legacy we leave behind. It's like the quote by Louis Pasteur, "chance favors the prepared mind".

So, this week I'm attempting to start tigernut/chufa plants.

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I planted 1/4 acre and the turkeys got em all as the sprouted.

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Worse than this; I think he's saying we can't be in the start of a mass extinction because if we were, we couldn't stop it. He almost literally says "if it was true then there would be no point in doing anything about it so you know, it's not true". It fails basic logic.

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I like Bill Nye's way of demonstrating the point of no return for biodiversity collapse. https://youtu.be/QJZRiZmrPjI

Comment deleted1 year ago

What's the danger of abandoned nuclear plants outside their immediate area? Are they dangerous 100+ miles away?

Marketing departments are incredibly wasteful. Slightly new logo or slogan? Throw away everything that has the old design on it.

Original Poster1 point · 1 year ago

"Before WW2..." "...for every calorie of fossil fuel energy that a farmer put into his farm, he or she got back 2.3 calories of food energy.." "...now on average, it takes 10 calories of fossil fuel energy to produce one calorie of food energy..." "....if you want a better definition of unsustainability, I submit that that is it."

6 points · 1 year ago · edited 1 year ago

I call bullshit, any idea where he sourced that stat?

Edit: I've already seen other sources that the 10:1 includes transportation, processing (accounts for 1/3rd alone) and preparation which account for more then actually growing it on the farm, packaging can even account for up to 15% of this stat. Pollan is bullshitting and manipulating the stat as far as I can tell.

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Original Poster2 points · 1 year ago

No, I've been looking for similar info when I found this video. I hear people say we use more inputs for smaller gains in yields but I haven't found any kind of study. I'd like to see a graph over time of energy in and energy out. I'm more interested in the last few decades rather than comparing pre WW2 to now.

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12 points · 1 year ago

Coyotes are smart enough to only produce large litters when they're being killed. Sucks that humans haven't learned how to do that yet.

http://www.globalanimal.org/2016/08/16/coyote-conflict-why-killing-coyotes-doesnt-work/

I like this simple visual to illustrate why a small 2 degree change is actually a fairly drastic change. https://m.imgur.com/t/xkcd/8SmlL Due to the 10 to 30 year lag between emissions and effect on temperature, we've already emitted enough to surpass the 2 degree C Paris agreement goal. Conservative estimates from the U.N. and IPCC predict a 4 to 5 degree increase by the end of the century. With methane being released due to the thawing arctic, and global sea disappearing, the already unprecedented rate of warming is only going to accelerate. https://sites.google.com/site/arctischepinguin/home/global-sea-ice The world is going to be drastically different in our lifetimes.

Original Poster4 points · 1 year ago

:) Does that make me a bad person?

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Why are you against sustainability?

3 points · 1 year ago

this is what's so frustrating to me. I've been trying to get as much information as I can about farming because it's something I'm interested in getting into but just when I get to feeling "OK maybe I can get into it" then articles like this come out and totally discourages me.

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What are your goals? What kind of farming do you want to get into?

“Earth is capable of providing healthy diets for 10 billion people in 2060 and preserving viable habitats for the vast majority of its remaining species.

The benefits for biodiversity and humanity of pursuing these goals are great, and with forethought and timely action, these goals can be achieved.”

I'd like some info on how this is possible.

20 points · 1 year ago

Permaculture anyone?

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19 points · 1 year ago

Yeah. Start planting useful perennials now. It takes a long time for fruit and nut trees to start producing. It takes even longer for a food forest to start functioning like a real forest. Establishing a functioning permaculture garden/farm won't be at the top of anyone's list of priorities once they're hungry. Do it now while you have time, money, and the luxury of being able to have virtually any plant from any nursery mailed to your door.

If you voted for Trump you're complicit in this. Your children and their children's children will curse your name.

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13 points · 1 year ago

I think crash civilization early in hopes the biosphere can recover is as legitimate of a plan as whatever the Paris agreement would do. That being said, I voted Jill Stein and I sterilized myself before having any kids.

-4 points · 1 year ago

Which is good as we need smart people to have kids.

To be fair the people we need to have kids are not and the dumb are.

Next generation is gonna be fun because all the smart people had a dumb moment and we didn't sterilize the right people.

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Insults aren't necessary. But it should make you happy that my smarter, healthier, brother has kids. Plus he, unlike me, wants to be a parent - win-win-win.

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We still farm in ways that necessitate more antibiotic use than rotational grazing. Animals that stand in manure covered cement have more foot issues that require antibiotics than animals that are on a fresh paddock every day. Same goes for respiratory issues and other infections. Antibiotics are still cheap and accessible so confinement operations to produce economies of scale are still more profitable even if they inherently require more antibiotic treatments. This law didn't change anything besides feeding sub therapeutic doses for weight gain. If you have a couple animals coughing in a pen, your vet can give you a prescription and you can dosing the entire pen again, the sick ones will get better and the not so sick ones will grow faster.

I just want to know why I shouldn't be worried about us having 60 harvests left before topsoil is gone. That's what I've read.

Define gone? There's so many unknowns to your statement i'm not sure how to respond. Could you link what you've read? I cant very well refute huckster horseshit without knowing what i'm dealing with. I can certainly say that the topsoil i farm will be there in 60 years.

I want to know why I shouldn't be worried that cheap oil allowed us to add 6 billion people to the planet and we will run out and we don't have any replacement that's as energy dense or that can replace all the products oil makes.

If we stop using oil for all the shit that we dont HAVE to use it for, we'll have plenty of oil to fuel the energy dense portable applications that NEED oil for a good long while. If every commuter vehicle on the road was electric we could tell the arabs to fuck off.

It does seem like you keep treating me like I'm religiously anti GMO organic dude. Keep in mind I haven't mentioned GMOs once.

I simply referenced GMOs because it was an easy example of cross-discipline ignorance.

Where do you farm, out of curiosity?

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Conserving oil doesn't make it unlimited. Besides, we can't even afford to burn all the oil we've discovered. http://grist.org/climate-change/2011-12-05-the-brutal-logic-of-climate-change/

This is the article about topsoil loss I was referring to https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/only-60-years-of-farming-left-if-soil-degradation-continues/

Our current way of life has already started Earth's sixth mass extinction https://www.pri.org/stories/2015-06-26/were-middle-worlds-sixth-mass-extinction-event-and-may-not-be-able-stop-it

This video summarizes my worries pretty well. Everything except what's discussed about the economy, you can skip that stuff. https://youtu.be/pYyugz5wcrI

I farm in southern Wisconsin.

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