We were both fairly depressed when we started dating. Hence why the relationship turned bad.
We broke up because we knew things weren't good. We both started going to therapy. We mutually agreed to stay living together because I have a big house to live in for free and she's pretty broke. We mutually agreed to work on a healthy friendship. We get along pretty well most of the time. She explored her feelings with a mutual friend of ours. I was okay with that. I went on a few dates with a few other girls. Nothing serious, I like my independence. Everything was looking like a surprisingly healthy friendship for 2 people who used to date with only the occasional episode where I had to remind her not to boyfriend me.
Now, I keep talking more about me moving out of state(not with her). And she would keep trying to hint that we "may not be dating, but we have a relationship." And depending on if I want a fight/meltdown or not I either ignore it or tell her no, we're just friends.
This kind of thing has been happening more over the past several weeks. I think she's completely ignoring that we're not a couple anymore and I'm just in denial because I like to avoid conflict. But now just 2 weeks ago, I tell her about an awesome girl I met and she had a complete meltdown telling me she still has feelings for me. I don't know why this time is different. We've been broke up for 4 years now and I've dated girls before without issues.
Now it's been every other day that she'll skip work to come berate me until I say something that she can take as giving her hope that we're still together in some way. I've been nothing but clear in telling her that I want to be single, and I want to live alone. I tell her I won't throw her on the streets, I'll let her find a place. She won't let that happen. She berates me for hours. She won't let me leave. If I leave, she finds me at work because she knows when I have to be there. She tells me I'm saying mean things when all I tell her is I want to live alone and be single.
Right now, she's leaving me alone to prove that she can give me space and we can go back to the good friends that we were. She's coming back on Monday. I expect things will be somewhat okay if niether of us bring up anything serious but I know this isn't over. I'm done denying. I know we don't have a healthy friendship. She's still attached to me. She won't move out, she won't let me move away and she won't let me start seriously dating someone else.
tl;dr: My ex won't let me break up with her. How do I get her to move out of my house?
I came here to share a mindset that I've recently adopted that's making me feel good. I feel it's similar to Guy McPherson's message.
The status quo is currently leading us off a cliff. Therefore the status quo has no credibility in influencing how you live your life. You should be spending your life doing what makes you happy. Don't stay at a job you hate because the pay is good. Don't let negative people compromise your well being.
Now that I'm writing this out, it doesn't sound like anything profound. But I think that's the point I was trying to make, collapse or no collapse, be you, live the life you want to live. I'm mostly writing this for myself because I feel like I heard this kind of life advice but it took knowledge of collapse to actually get me to start building my life into the life I want it to be.
I'm done with my meaningless material possessions. I'm done spending money on stuff I don't need. My job is contributing to the destruction of the biosphere. I love the biosphere and freetime and I don't really like working. Therefore I should aim to work as little as possible by spending as little as possible.
I'm done spending time around negative people. They affect me way too much. There's so many beautiful loving people to hang around, I don't have time for anyone negative. Again, this makes sense collapse or no collapse but for some reason, I needed the knowledge of collapse to actually start heeding this kind of advice.
Load more comments
Load more comments