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Coastal Coffee Roasters in Summerville

8

Need advice.

I've been out of the Hospital one week. And never single day I've wanted to go back. Supposed to see a therapist when I got out but they've been busy.

I also have a lot of friends who are relying on me. So I wonder if I should go back to the hospital. I feel more stable than when I went in. But my mood keeps dropping really fast.

At present it sounds as though your friends need to stop relying on you. You're only a week out of hospital... you're in no state to be relied upon (no offence meant). Monitor your mood using the Daylio app and speak to your doctor if your mood begins to drop.

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Original Poster-1 points · 18 days ago

Thank you. I took no offense. It makes sense.

2

4 days out of hospital....help

I just spent 2 weeks in a hospital mental health section. It was a great experience. I went because I had a plan for suicide. And then I tried to kill myself the 2nd day there.

Ive been diagnosed PTSD, Bipolar I, and now Borderline Personality Disorder.

And I keep wanting to cut as a reflex. I'm angry? Cut. I'm hungry but no food, cut. I'm anxious. Cut.

I haven't since being out of the hospital. But I feel I'm almost ready to hit a psychotic episode. I'm so dang scared of myself.

I just really want a therapist and I have to wait until Wednesday to find out who it is.

Should I go back? Or should I go to a 30day program about 2 hours from me.

2
3

Struggling to go to hospital

I thought the hardest part was going to be in not having anyone over for a week. But I also had nobody to text or call or talk to. I'm in the middle of a med change and I feel so hopeless again. And I have to put myself in the hospital again. And it's so unfair to my husband who then has to deal with the house his job finances me and our dogs by himself. We don't really have a lot of friends or family because we live far from them.

I've been pushing this off for weeks. But I have to or I'm going to end up killing myself on an impulse. I'm scared for my family because they really need me and I can't be there.

2 points · 1 month ago

can you try to talk to your husband and if it gets really bad then you should definitely go to hospital, I'm sure your husband will understand

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Original Poster3 points · 1 month ago

I'm going to the hospital.

8

New meds. How do you do with Lithium?

My psych said lithium is a last resort medication due to side effects. I just started it and can tell immediately I feel zombie like. However, right now that's fine with me.

If this doesn't work, I go inpatient again. Leaving my husband to worry about bills, food, our dogs, etc all by himself.

I'm scared.

I was very against trying lithium but it ended up being the 20th drug I tried. It gave me an upset stomach so I switched to extended release. The first few weeks on it sucked and I wanted to give it up but my pdoc stood up to me and told me no. Now I have almost no side effects from it, I just get really thirsty at times, sometimes in the middle of the night. The blood tests aren't that bad, and that's coming from someone that hates needles. Honestly, not as scary as I expected. It makes me less depressed but I'm still depressed. I'm on 3 other meds, all aimed at the depression. I'm treatment resistant. I have some good days now instead of no good days. But like I said, it made me feel awful at first but it got better once I stuck it out. It took a couple weeks. Hang in there!

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Thanks!

I'm also treatment resistant. I've been on nearly all antipsychotic and antidepressants on the market. Been battling depression since I was 9.

Bipolar started somewhere around 20 or so.

Been in and out of hospitals.

Depressed since 8, bipolar since 21. We're similar!

Question (if you don't mind me asking)...have all antidepressants effected you similarly? Tomorrow my pdoc will probably want to try another antidepressant but they all made me suicidal so far. Did all antipsychotics cause akathisia? I've only tried abilify as far as atypicals go and the akathisia was awful. I was on low dose haldol and that didn't do much

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Seroquel works for me usually. Same with Latuda. They just don't go well by themselves.

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I loved forrent.com

Original Poster13 points · 1 month ago

Confused at the downvoting on this post. My apologies in trying to support a small local business. Maybe if I said Ohio sucks in my post I would get some upvotes lmao

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This is one of the meanest subbreddits I've been part of. I get down voted for answering questions. Or asking questions.

It's ridiculous

1

Last chance

My psych just put me on lithium and said it's her last resort medication because of side effects.

If this doesn't work, we're going to have to try ECT. Or some other not completely conventional therapy.

She did say she won't make me do it but she suggests it may help.

I'm scared and nervous. If this med fails. I think I'm done. There'd be no hope left.

1

Dr Julia Rodriguez at Barrier Island Psychiatry. Still taking patients. Doesn't turn anyone away. I'm uninsured so I pay $90/visit every 3 to 6 months. She's the best I've ever had. Really cares about you.

6 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

She is a nurse practitioner not a medical doctor. She is awesome but just make sure your insurance accepts non physician practitioners.

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Good point. But she is definitely the best I've ever had despite not being a full psychiatrist. She works with you and your budget and if you don't want to do medicine she's fine with that.

1

Manic then complete apathy

I was the most manic I've ever been. Now I couldn't care less. About anything.

Not even my dogs. I see my psych any minute now. But I just don't see the point.

Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Switching from Latuda to Lithium.

Lithium

Seroquel

Celexa

Ativan

Prazosin

3

Giving up.

I've battled depression my entire life. I was always sad and worried. Even when I was 4.

I'm 27 now. I'm married. He's wonderful. But it's been hell getting here. And I had a stroke which has messed up my emotions a lot.

I feel like there's nothing anyone can do for me now. I've tried a lot. I'm on tons of meds.

Nothing is helping. I just want to lay in bed. Don't care to eat. Shower. Open my eyes.

I'm so exhausted. I just want to stop for awhile.

What do I do?

I couldn't eat supper but I needed the calories for latuda so I went to Wendy's and got a frostie. Calories but not food. Usually I can eat frozen waffles.

Inpatient would adjust your meds. Maybe look into a partial hospitalization program if you want to be able to sleep, or at least rest, at home. And they'll tell you if they think you need inpatient instead. I think inpatient or PHP might be good because it'll get your meds adjusted

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Oh man. Frosty sounds so good right now.

I've decided I'm going inpatient tonight. I keep pushing it off because i keep thinking I can do it on my own. But I can't.

My best friend is on a 10 day Vaca with low reception so I can't talk to him. He's kind of my voice of reason

Anyway. I truly appreciate you talking to me. It's helped.

Inpatient wasn't so bad for me. The only time I went was back in March. If you want to hear about my experience I don't mind sharing. It was scary at first but once I was there it was fine.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

I appreciate it. I've been in hospitals many times. I just feel like they don't help me anymore.

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0

Tattoos?

I'm wanting a simple awareness ribbon. About 1x1 on my shoulder. Not my first tattoo.

I just don't know who is least expensive but also good. I have a limited amount I'm able to save up.

Thanks all. I'm on phone only and searching is difficult.

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Original Poster-2 points · 1 month ago

I know exactly what I want and if I still lived in my hometown it would only be $40. Wasn't sure about the pricing down here as it seems they are a lot more experienced and I didn't know if that would Jack the price up a ton.

I don't want a cheap tattoo I just want it to be as inexpensive as possible but obviously I want to get it done well. There's a lot more tattoo places here so I didn't know if anyone had any good or bad experiences

For something that small, prices aren’t going to vary by much. You’re better off finding an artist with a good reputation and then contacting them to find out their minimum fee.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Okay thanks! I got my first one through a professional friend. So I just don't want to get ripped off.

69

Anyone want to hang out with a young cripple?

I'm a she and 27. Married. Have 2 dogs. Love weightlifting, trying to lose weight, love coffee.

And I had a stroke a few months ago. I'm not able to leave the house on my own. Except for a few selected places.

Online chat, public meeting space, something like that. I just need more people interaction as I heal.

Thanks!

I am starting a DnD campaign if your gaming heads in that direction. West Ashley, would always be with people.

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Original Poster2 points · 1 month ago

I love DnD. Transportation is an issue right now. But maybe in the future. :)

Stroke? Holy crap that sucks! It runs in my social dad's side of the family and that can really mess you up.

We're extremely busy for the next three weeks or so, so it would be a bit difficult to meet in person but I'm on the computer a fair amount in the evenings anyway.

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Original Poster3 points · 1 month ago

That sounds fine to me. Shoot me a message and we'll chat. :)

Yeah I had an artery tear that caused blood clots and they released. Freak accident. Thankfully I'm recovering physically really well. But its still hard to hold a conversation out loud. Or not stutter.

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1

Mania more frequent than depression.

This year has been one for the record books. I still don't know how I'm standing. How I'm here. Alive.

Anyway. Ever since about a year now, my mania is more common than depression.

I do see a psych. We've just changed my meds again. I have a high tolerance to meds for some reason.

Anyway. My mania is still depressed though. So I've been self harming and preparing for suicide.

I feel so out of control and the hospital here doesn't help. I'm okay right now. But it's a damn ready to burst.

My year plays the same song as yours friend. It's a sad fucking tune for sure and depression seems to live with the mania now. Made me head back to the abusive ex, or aided in helping me fall for her bull shit sob story. Commiserating with you internet buddy.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Sorry to hear you're in the same boat as me. Today has been good and suddenly it's not. So now I have paranoia and panic attacks. Sucks.

I had a stroke a few months ago.

I looked at the pic and panicked for a second.

8

I just don't understand

An old friend of mine has been battling cancer. She had breast cancer and went into remission after a masectomy. The last 6 months, she's been fighting bone cancer that kept spreading.

Now she's been given days to live. She's so beautiful and happy...she's a fighter.

But I'm over here trying to kill myself the last few months. And she's fighting for her life.

Why? Why can't I trade places? I don't know her well anymore but she is just so inspirational and this is how she dies? It's not fucking fair.

Now I feel even worse for hurting myself. But I still don't want to be here. I just...I don't understand why. Why take someone so good and full of life.. :'(

You shouldn’t feel guilty for hurting yourself but you should consider talking to someone (a therapist) about your self-harm. Self-harm usually stems from psychological issues (maybe you’ve been hurt mentally and you’re trying to translate that pain to physical) and it’s a cry for help. Get help for yourself. You deserve to live a happy life.

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Original Poster2 points · 1 month ago

I actually just saw my psych today and I'm looking into finding a counselor. My friend is probably going to pass in the next couple days. And I guess I kind of owe it to her at least to be happy and alive.

It's been a hell of a day. Thank you for your kind words.

When I first saw my now husband's bachelor pad, I was weirded out. All the walls were blank. Zero decorations. His furniture consisted of a futon, full bed, desk and chair, couch.

Thankfully he's just anal about clutter which includes decorations to him. He's not a serial killer. That I know of.

15

Suicidal. I should have died a couple months ago.

It started in March. I'm 27. I had just begun a wonderful job. I was very happy with my husband of 8.5 years. And I was working with a personal trainer to get back to an ideal weight.

Then I had a stroke. Freak accident from working out too hard. Tore part of my vertebral artery which released clots to my brain.

Before I go into too much detail, the last 2 weeks have been the hardest.

The birth dates for my 3 children who I miscarried came and went. I lost 2 of them last year.

I've yet to grieve them.

I have a great support group. But I'm still lonely as hell. My emotions don't match my thoughts. My thoughts don't match my mood.

Everything is all messed up. And I've been on the verge of suicide. 2 weeks after the hospital, I tried to kill myself but a friend called 911.

I've been feeling like that this whole time. Kill myself. Just rest all ready. But I don't want to hurt my friends and family. But I'm just so tired.

Today was an excellent day. And then. BAM!

I feel exhausted and tired and don't care if I get through to tomorrow or not.

I really just want to cut right now. Go deeper than before. See if it corrects my feelings.

I feel like I'm not impressed by anything anymore. Nothing is fun. Nothing is romantic. Nothing is funny. Nothing makes me angry. I smile and laugh. But it's forced and sometimes habit.

I'm not going to make it much longer unless my brain quickly repairs itself.

15

Have ever tried letting yourself fully collapse on the floor and laying there? Sometimes it helps to at least give my body the physical sensation of giving up, and laying there as long as I need to. Giving myself permission to do that and fully embracing the feeling of wanting to give up really gives some space & recognition for the aspect of me that is beyond exhausted and is done with the world. It’s a totally valid feeling and anyone else in your position would feel the same way..so..I think it’d really help to extend that compassion towards yourself. Hang in there, and hugs all around<3

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

I want to do exactly that but I'm afraid I won't be safe and I can't do it in front of anyone. But thank you so much

"I've been feeling like that this whole time. Kill myself. Just rest all ready. But I don't want to hurt my friends and family. But I'm just so tired."

My mom hung herself when I was 12. I know she was thinking the same thing, I've thought it too. But I can't kill myself no matter how much I want to because I know first hand that this is exactly the opposite.

My dad got addicted to pills and spend days on the couch sleeping, eventually he ended up in prison.

My brother was a wild child and his drug problem got worse over time. In 2014 he overdosed on heroin and died on my aunt's carport.

And then all the fucking pain I've been thru. Please don't do it. I know it's hard. Be strong for them if you need to feel free to pm me anytime. I'm never asleep anyways. ;)

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

Thank you. We're getting me into counseling. I see a psych but it's a 15min appt.

I'm working on not cutting.

I'm now outside, in our bushes. Naked. Joy.

11

Charleston Mental Health groups?

Wanting to find some local support groups. I get overwhelmed easily and can't handle looking at search pages.

Stroke Bipolar Depression Anxiety

11

MUSC. Great groups there. Like best in the state plus GA/NC. Unless you go to Wake or Duke

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Original Poster1 point · 2 months ago

Do they have a list somewhere? I'm not finding groups through MUSC

I have anxiety and PTSD, the Celebrate Recovery program I attend has been a great resource for me. Let me know if you want to know more.

You might ask the missions/outreach coordinator at your church, or your doctor or counselor - they may know of other support groups.

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Original Poster1 point · 2 months ago

Definitely looking into thank you

I had forgotten to take my OkCupid account down while I had a boyfriend. So the guy and I agreed we could be friends. He was a pure gentleman never tried anything. My boyfriend broke up with me because apparently he had been cheating on me. So after a while I started dating my friend and we are now married. And he's the love of my life. 9 years next month.

4

I just want relief

If I don't stop cutting. Immediately. I'm going to go too far while trying to run from the feelings I can't unleash.

I'm exhausted. Hospitals no longer help. I'm hanging on. I am. But I'm getting more reckless.

Trying out a new med. We'll see. Just. I might be here for a few more nights...thnx

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