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tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
tunkymunky [score hidden]

Coming off a little harsh and judgmental here, yeesh. She's a little crunchier than I'd want in a provider, but the statistics of The Farm speak volumes and hippie or not Ina May knows her shit. I'm having a hospital birth with an OB, but found her emphasis on the power of the female body, the importance of the mind body connection, and the ability of women to give birth without fear incredibly empowering. A welcome change in mindset for me from the common belief that childbirth is an event to be pathologized and feared.

mrs_tseluyu [score hidden]

Right?!? She's so old too omg

tunkymunky [score hidden]

Yeah old people are so gross! /s

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
tunkymunky [score hidden]

Piling on to suggest reading Expecting Better, and also check out Panic Free Pregnancy (written by an OBGYN). Most of the "don't eat/drink/do this" recommendations are overblown and some of them aren't even true. There are still things to avoid, but it's really not that bad.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
tunkymunky 2 points

This is interesting! I'm really sensitive to sounds so I wear earplugs AND use white noise to sleep and I listen to pink noise through earbuds when trying to focus at work. I've been thinking about using them for sleep to help dull some of the grunts and other noises that aren't "I need something" cries when she sleeps in our room.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
Infinite_Mess 7 points

Same here. I've always been like this. Some people get bored of foods easily and some don't. I'm glad I don't because it makes meal prep easy. This week I'm eating chicken salad over arugula for lunch every single day, and I look forward to it every day. Last week it was tuna salad lol, so basically the same thing, still not sick of mayo-based dishes and probably never will be. If I had no concerns for health/fitness, I could eat spaghetti and plain traditional sauce every day and I honestly don't think I would ever get bored.

Having said all that--whenever I see a fitness person bringing their own meals to go out with friends (I remember @ohilyssa doing this for example, I think it was ON HER BIRTHDAY too), that throws up a red flag for disordered eating for sure.

tunkymunky 4 points

I remember @ohilyssa doing this for example

Ughhhh she did not! That's so sad. Does she still claim to be an Intuitive Eater? I follow IE and I hate how she co-opted that term to try to make counting macros and treating protein powder cake as an indulgence seem more woke.

Infinite_Mess 7 points

She totally did--I'm pretty sure it was for her birthday, and Kyle like surprised her with a breakfast out with all her friends and she was like oh thanks let me grab my meal prep tupperware and watch everyone else eat. I'm not sure what she claims right now beyond being vegan. I'm not sure how much longer I can hate-follow her now that she's found Jesus tbh.

tunkymunky 4 points

Didn't she grow up in a pretty Christian family? Maybe she and Mshelllllll can hang out and talk about how restricting calories and posting rambling IG stories fits into The Lord's purpose for their lives.

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tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
tunkymunky 5 points

After weighing the pros and cons of both medicated and unmedicated, I found that unmedicated birth appeals to me more. But it is a personal choice and there's no universal right answer! All birth is natural birth and anyone who tries to say different needs a reality check.

  • I want to be able to move around during labor
  • Don't want to be stuck in bed after delivery
  • Risk of headaches and fogginess for days/ weeks after
  • The idea of a big old needle in my spine freaks me out
  • For some women drugs can interfere with the process- slow things down, make pushing less effective, mess with the natural high and bonding after birth, etc.
  • Accepting an epidural can also beckon in a cascade of other interventions and invasive procedures.
  • Birth is a normal physiological process and our bodies are smart. If I don't have complications, I don't see any reason to mess with something that nature has perfected over many years of evolution.
  • I see birth as a physical and mental challenge that I want to experience fully.
[deleted] 3 points

I like your response, but I want to address your last two bullet points really quick. I hope you don't take offense, because I'm not here to debate, just kind of giving my perspective.

For the first point, we intervene in plenty of natural processes. Yes, our bodies know what they're doing (most of the time, although if this were universally the case we wouldn't need to give birth in a medical setting at all). The way I see it, we give medication for everything from pain to sleep and everything in between. We readily step in when things cause pain in any other circumstance. You wouldn't expect someone with a broken bone to go without pain meds, for example. I know it's not perfectly analogous, but my point is if we have the medical know-how to relieve pain, nobody should feel like they have to push themselves through it if they don't want to. There are several extremely valid reasons not to get an epidural, but I don't view this as one of them.

For the second point, epidurals don't make labor easier. You're not getting a lesser experience if you have one. You don't suddenly become a useless shell that has no feeling whatsoever once you have your epidural. I feel like people have this impression that an epidural makes you less connected to your labor process somehow, but that's just not the case in my experience. I was very involved with both of my births. It wasn't something that was just happening to me vs something I was actively doing just because I couldn't feel much pain or use my legs properly.

Again, your response was really well thought out. There are so many perfectly valid reasons to forego the epidural, and as you were saying, it's a very personal choice.

tunkymunky 4 points

Thanks for the thoughtful remarks <3

  1. My point about not interfering with the physiological process of birth relates more to the tendency of modern medicine to medicate things that could be effectively treated or prevented in other ways. You say that we give medication for pain and sleep, but is medication always the best approach? I believe this is an important question that industrialized medicine can sometimes ignore. Think about children who can't focus in school or adults who have anxiety. Is medicine something that can help in many cases? Absolutely. But does it come without negative side effects? Not always. And are there other, just as useful ways to address the issue? We have to weigh the risks and benefits and apply personal values to reach a decision that works best for us.

  2. I think you might be reading something into my last point that I didn't write. I do not believe that an epidural- assisted birth makes someone a useless shell. My personal preference is to be as physically involved as possible, which for me and my individual mind-body connection means going without anesthetics if possible. I don't like the feeling of numbness and I believe that going without drugs will help me to be more in tune with my body and the process. I know many women who have had fantastic experiences with an epidural and it sounds like you were part of that group! Sometimes people can get soooo sanctimonious about "natural birth" and be mistrusting of modern medicine, which is not my intention at all. There's a wide spectrum of options and a safe, fulfilling birth experience can be accomplished by many different roads :)

zeldamaroo 57 points

Ask your OB/midwife. Official CDC recommendations are that adults only need one Tdap shot in their lifetime. (Not counting pregnant women.) My OBs went with the official government recommendations. Lots of people on here have reported their OBs saying adults who will be around the baby a lot should get another Tdap shot if their last one was more than 10 years ago. I’m not sure how often I’ve heard 5 years. Also, there are apparently different versions of exactly what constitutes being around the baby enough to justify needing another shot (if your provider even says it’s necessary at all).

This is not an area where I’d recommend getting your advice from Reddit. This particular sub can sway kind of extreme on the issue (to the point of some people saying not to let people even see the baby for several months if they can’t provide proof of having gotten a second Tdap shot, etc.), and that does not necessarily reflect the medical consensus, at least not nationwide.

tunkymunky 6 points

Yeah, I'm more trying to see if there are published recommendations and studies out there that people know about. I hear you about the spectrum of advice one can get on here.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
tunkymunky 23 points

Exercise is good for pregnancy, but you shouldn't be feeling pain. You may want to try talking with a physical therapist who works with pregnant women-- they can help you with exercises that will work well for where you're at right now and give insight on any issues regarding alignment, muscle weakness etc. and how to correct them.

But also, the third trimester is HARD and absolutely not a time to beat yourself up about your fitness level. Our bodies are smart-- if your body is telling you that something hurts, listen to that wisdom!

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
snarkcake 21 points

So anyone else following #wheresMelania ? She’s not coming on his two upcoming trips, G7 and Kim Jung Un talks... But she is scheduled to be at a Gold Star families dinner tonight, closed to the press...

tunkymunky 8 points

She's chilling with Shelly Miscavige.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
my-two-sense 30 points

I think it's awful, but she did. I felt like it was important for her words to be shared here, since they will disappear from her stories.

tunkymunky 5 points

The topics that she claims to be a thought leader on are constantly discussed in any remotely woke online publication, not to mention trending on social media as a whole. But sure, dancing in your underwear, shopping at all the Zaras in Europe, and rambling with the puppy filter from your bedroom for hours on end DEFINITELY makes you a thought pioneer, Alina.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
deepfriedyoga 48 points

Emily's life makes me so tired. I wonder how many more kids they'll have. I was thinking that she was hoping to just have one kid with Dick to appease him, but I'm sure he wants a son. :/

tunkymunky 21 points

I could see him blaming her Henry VIII style if they had more babies and none of them were boys.

TheQuinntervention 17 points

Hopefully NURSE RICHARD knows that the father determines the baby’s Sex. But tbh I doubt he does.

tunkymunky 24 points

But he's a he-man wolf pack leader so his pure and superior wolf masculinity makes him exempt from the rules.

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tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
SuicidalHouseplant 21 points

No, I think you got what I meant! I know there are plenty of people who don’t agree with me, but I think actively choosing to have five kids in this day and age, especially when you’re privileged and educated, is socially irresponsible.

tunkymunky 7 points

Not to mention exhausting.

IIWhiTeIIHaWkII -1 points

Lol yes it is a big corporate conspiracy. Not a chance that they set incentives based on things that are you know health for the baby...

It is obviously up to you if you breastfeed or not, but it is pretty well scientifically proven that breastfeeding has a myriad of positive benefits (for both baby and mom). I personally have absolutely no problem with a hospital pushing something so clearly positive. There is always a right and wrong way to do it though...

tunkymunky 10 points

I am referencing instances when a baby is in clear distress from hunger, latch/ supply just isn't happening, etc. and the attitude of nurses and physicians is to force breastfeeding no matter what. I've never experienced it personally but have read plenty of horror stories both on this sub and elsewhere that speak to this being an issue.

It's really okay to feed a baby formula if you need or want to. And it's also perfectly fine to not breastfeed at all if after weighing the benefits of BF with the drawbacks you decide that it is not the route for you.

IIWhiTeIIHaWkII 2 points

I agree, but again that goes to a nurse or other staff aren’t handling the situation properly, not any money that might be behind it. I get incentives to do plenty of things in my totally non medical job.. I still do something’s that go against what would get me paid because it is the correct thing to do..

tunkymunky 2 points

If your position is that financial incentives don't influence policy and behavior then we are just gonna have to agree to disagree here.

tunkymunky 178 points

Y'all, my husband interrupted a rare third trimester deep REM cycle to tell my 30 weeks pregnant self that he drank a lot of water before bed and it was OMGTHEWORST thing ever because he was waking up to pee a lot.

I'm happy to report that he survived.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/beyondthebump
UndrinkablePint 12 points

Newborn is 7 weeks old and currently sleep training (Babywise book highly recommended).

Wake up at 6:30/7 for breastfeeding, diaper change, simple playtime, and then baby goes in his swing so I can make myself coffee and breakfast. He entertains himself with the mirror and mobile. We watch the news.

By 8:00 I’m trying to get him down for a nap. May or may not happen. I hop in the shower as guilt pours on me if he starts crying. But a shower must be had.

9:00 feeding, diaper change, and playtime. Tummy time mat, looking in the mirror, and talking/cooing to each other.

9:30 baby is asleep on the breast. Cuddle for 30 Mins. Ease him off. Fold laundry from day before. Pray he doesn’t wake from nap.

Hop in the car, grab a Starbucks. Visit my mother-in-law down the road, go for a walk with stroller, or run 1 errand*. Baby sleeps in carrier. If he’s awake at in laws we entertain and pass around. He’s usually content. Cries = needs diaper change. Breast feed on demand. Go back home.

*make sure you know what your errand is before you leave the house. If going to target, don’t hit target and “oh yeah! I need to go to bed bath too!” Recipe for disaster. Get baby home to stay in routine.

12:00 feeding, diaper change, and playtime. He’s up a long stretch. Watch an episode of Handmaid’s Tale or whatever you watch. Diaper change again. Swaddled, on the breast to comfort nurse, asleep in CRIB! *if he wakes during transition to crib I still put him in and let him cry for a few minutes. He self soothes back to sleep.

Ah. 2 hours of nap time. Finally! *insert your chores or a mommy nap here. I usually do chores. Or try to read a baby book. Pump a bottle for bedtime.

4:00 feeding, diaper change, and playtime. Back to sleep for half an hour. Not much to be done but cuddle your baby and maybe sort pictures on your phone.

5:00 feeding, diaper change, and playtime. Another long haul of being awake.

Up until 7: this is it, people, we are gearing up for the big night night.

7:00 daddy gives baby the bottle. We change, swaddle, top off baby at the boob. Place in crib by 8:00. We let him cry. We maintain a strict bedtime.

10:00 baby starts to fuss so we quick diaper change and a top up. He’s on the boob and asleep after 10 mins.

Baby sleeps for 5 hours straight. Wake up around 3:30am for a diaper change and the breast. Baby takes breast for 10-15 mins while sleeping. I wait another 10 to make sure he is really asleep and then back to crib.

Baby cries around 6:30am. Time to repeat the day.

It’s a repetitive day. But it’s predictable. And we can make plans around baby’s schedule.

DONT LET BABY SLEEP LONGER THAN 3 HOURS DURING THE DAY. 1. Dehydration. 2. He won’t sleep at night.

We use Sprout Baby Tracker to log EVERYTHING baby does: eat, poop, sleep, etc.

Tips: make a diaper station in every main room in the house. Your room, babies room, living room, etc. Burp clothes everywhere. Water bottles for you places in main rooms. It’s easy to forget yourself.

tunkymunky 5 points

Piggybacking here to add to OP that if you want to try scheduling, Moms on Call is another really great book that is a little bit easier to digest than Babywise-- it's like 1/3 the length and I found it more user friendly. Both have really supportive and informative FB groups if you decide to take that route.

Also, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child talks more in depth about the science of sleep for newborns and beyond. I found that it backs up a few of the things MOC and BW mention in their routines, which made me feel better about implementing some of the concepts when my daughter is born this summer.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
peppermintmochaa 21 points

I actually just accidentally offended someone by doing this yesterday. She posted a really nice message about her mom on her bday so I said (intending it to be to funny) this is so beautiful, happy birthday [friend]'s mom! She wrote back 'her name is xxxxxxx'. It doesn't bother me when someone does it but I now know it bothers some people.

tunkymunky 3 points

She wrote back 'her name is xxxxxxx'.

To me this falls in the category of being offended for the sake of being offended.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/BabyBumps
superdeli 29 points

Omg. I live in Philadelphia and constantly have people yelling stuff at me on my walks to and from work. Mostly “YOU PREGNANT?” “YOU GOT A BABY BUMP?”

What is the point of this?!?!?! I’ve never felt the urge to yell shit at a pregnant person. I also never have any good responses in the moment, so kudos to you.

tunkymunky 9 points

Went to an Amos Lee concert once and he was like "Philly is one of the only places I've been where people walk AT each other" and it made me laugh so hard and this reminded me of that.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
itsnobigthing 49 points

The problem for me is, the opposite of modest is “immodest”, which is inherently negative - synonyms would be “indecent”, “immoral” or “lacking in humility”. I don’t think people who choose to wear more revealing or shorter styles are any of those things (& I think most of us here agree on that). It brings morality into it, unnecessarily imo, when it’s really just about personal choice, comfort and sometimes religious belief.

I totally get the need for a keyword to help narrow it down though. If there were a more neutral term (akin to ‘bias cut’ or ‘evening wear’ or ‘casual’) I could imagine big sites like ASOS tagging any clothes that fit from all their range, too. Personally i’m hoping for them all to do this for dresses with pockets too!

I can’t think of a word that currently exists - but it’d be nice if one began to emerge over time. Maybe we could borrow a cosmetic term like “coverage”...

tunkymunky 18 points

Yep. Words and language don't exist in a vacuum, and while it can mean different things to each person, the term "modest" is pretty loaded in today's culture.

tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
Pittygirl 10 points

I never said everything has to be gender neutral? I’m just saying I personally wouldn’t risk having my baby ingest nail polish or force her to wear something uncomfortable just so she would look cute.

tunkymunky 1 point

... "why do you need people to be able to identify their sex on sight?"

sounds pretty scathing toward parents who choose more gendered clothing and accessories. That's a different line of reasoning completely than the dangers of ingesting nail polish.

n0rmcore 12 points

Well, she seems to be absorbing other unfortunate aspects of his personality (like a love of sweatpants) so maybe.

tunkymunky 52 points

Don't bring sweatpants into this, sweatpants are innocent

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tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
tunkymunky 53 points

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and in the throes of reading about safe sleep so please excuse my pearl clutching. But... Omfg Brandi please take that blanket off of your newborn baby. I hope it's just a prop for the photo.

MischaMascha 39 points

I don’t care if it’s just for the photo, even putting this out there is showing others that having a giant blanket and animal in a crib with a newborn is acceptable, and it isn’t. This is an irresponsible post.

tunkymunky 3 points

I can't help but wonder if she's intentionally trolling. Wouldn't be the first time she has posted something she knows will be provocative just to get dem view$ and click$

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tunkymunky commented on a post in r/blogsnark
pannonica 6 points

The Barkley Marathons (Netflix I think?) was fascinating and delightful - it's about an ultramarathon in the mountains of Tennessee.

Someone else mentioned Some thing's Wrong with Aunt Diane and of course, Dear Zachary - both devastating, both amazing.

tunkymunky 2 points

I need to watch Barkley, it keeps getting recommended to me and I keep forgetting about it.

amnicr 17 points

I'd 100% recommend "The Keepers" on Netflix. It's a series and it's so wild and shocking, just there's so much to the initial story. About nuns and abuse within the Catholic church.

tunkymunky 2 points

Currently watching this one, it's really good!

aeoniummum 1 point

I personally hate most strollers and travel systems. I worked with kids (still do) for years and years and the pricier the set up, the more problems it came with, in my opinion. I also have a convertible car seat and I have 3 baby carriers: two SSC (lilliebaby for me, ergo for hubs) and a stretchy carrier for the newborn phase. I'm looking forward to never having to lug a bucket seat in and out of the store or deal with sticking joints and stuck wheels with a stroller. Plus I'm only 4'11" and if you are trying to tell me that I need to manage a full sized stroller, carseat, baby, diaper bag plus load of groceries without help, I will laugh at you.

tunkymunky 1 point

Does your child wake up or fuss when being transferred from the car seat to the baby carrier? I plan to babywear if she lets me in any public places to avoid touchy strangers anyway.

italilight 1 point

Might depend on your climate. I know some people managed without the transferable bucket seat but I found it a necessity in the winter. When it's below freezing I want to spend as little time as possible outside fussing with straps getting the baby into the car. I can keep the seat inside (which also keeps it warm) and do all the strapping and fussing before heading out. Also allows me to use a car seat cover to keep baby warm without wearing bulky layers.

tunkymunky 1 point

This is a really good point with the summer heat as well. I have been wondering about keeping her car seat from getting really hot since I am due in August.

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About tunkymunky

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