I was on the night shift and our crew decided to get Denny’s once we got off. A few guys and I got there first and the waitress asked how many were in our party. We told her about 20 were coming and she responded with, “I’m not fucking doing that.” We were completely in awe that a waitress would say that. The whole time we were there she was complaining about her being the only waitress and told us multiple times to expect slow service. I’ll definitely never forget her.
godda give it to her for the honesty though. she tried it.
I'm usually not on the SJW side of these things, so this saga has been quite the bizarre trip for me. But onward. Here's my problem with this article, pinpointed to a specific excerpt:
At last, she uttered the word “no” for the first time during their encounter, to Mr. Ansari’s suggestion that they have sex in front of a mirror. He said: “‘How about we just chill, but this time with our clothes on?’”
They got dressed, sat on the couch and watched “Seinfeld.” She said to him: “You guys are all the same.” He called her an Uber. She cried on the way home. Fin.
It takes the part where the woman said no and then cuts to the end of the date, making it sound as if all of Ansari's attempts stopped with that no. Personally, I think there were plenty of perfectly good signs that it was time to pump the brakes long before that point, but everyone seems to be in agreement that the "no" in front of the mirror was a clear and vocal signal that further sexual contact was unwanted, so let's work with that.
Here's an excerpt from the babe article, following that "no" in front of the mirror:
While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants. She turned away. She remembers “feeling in a different mindset at that point.”
Again, this is after she said no. I feel like people have been glossing over this part and it's honestly left me bewildered. Is Ansari guilty of anything, should he be prosecuted? Uh, I honestly don't know, maybe? But his actions definitely fall well below the bar of responsible behavior that any self respecting man should set for himself.
yeah, this is the truth of it. it's bewildering why this is being ignored.
You want him to show he cares by making an effort to plan things. But you know he isn't a planner, so this is setting him up to fail, and setting yourself up for misery. I think you were pretty silly to get so upset about him not planning two days in a row, and then to get upset that he did something else when you told him to.
Think of some other way for him to demonstrate he cares, and accept the fact that you need to handle planning and/or accept his last-minute plans. You will both be much happier.
You want him to show he cares by making an effort to plan things. But you know he isn't a planner
he plans for himself, so that's not true. he just doesn't plan anything he doesn't 100% want to do because op doesn't matter to him.
I'm sorry but even with the large font I still don't agree with u/shenlyism. He's not a kid; he's a 31 year old adult who is lacking the notion of respect, or he doesn't care about how you feel. It would've been one thing if you had fumed in silence and not told him why you were upset but you DID, and the very next day he still did the same thing -- with no remorse afterwards! All the points you brought up in your post are spot on because he doesn't need to be walked through like a child and explained over and over why it's bad to touch the stove or steal candy from the store. He should connect the fact that this thoughtless behaviour hurt his wife = don't repeat it. Instead he kept asking "are we still going" because like you said, he was hoping you would change your mind. I know because I used to do this to my MOTHER as a kid.
The part about him doubting his abilities doesn't seem to hold true seeing as he has no problems doing exactly what you asked of him when it comes to going out with a buddy. It's just lack of respect and effort. Sit him down and don't hold back as to what he's doing to your relationship with his behaviour - his reaction and amount of willingness to fix it will tell you everything you need to know.
exactly, u/shenlyism sounds like they're speaking about an eight year old. this guy is a full grown adult and they JUST argued about it less than 24 hours before he did it again! no, this guy knew what he was doing, he just didn't care. op is right, he wanted to see a movie he wanted to see and f the rest.
He seems so with it in this clip.
i was surprised how coherent he was during the show he just did with his son jack. he might be a little lagging, but he's much better than he seemed back when his family had their own show.
Yeah, funny how that works right? This scenario, to me, sounds wildly implausible. OP seems to have specifically written the synopsis to get these kind of responses. What adult would flip out wildly and call someone names (while shouting) unless we’re missing some vital pieces of information?
Call me a cynic, or skeptical, but I have a strong feeling we’re missing some seriously vital pieces of information here.
i don't think we're missing anything. it's pretty clear how the husband thinks and why. he called her a whre said said she'd be a bad influence, he hates that she dislikes serious romantic relationships... he thinks the bff is a whre and is judging and shaming her. typical.
How great would it be if we lived in a world where Louis CK could just ask women if they would like to watch him jerk off without any further complications? Where they could say "No, actually I would not like that" or "Yes, that sounds fun" without having to do a calculation about whether that response will get them fired. In that world he did nothing wrong. He politely asked, and they had a chance to agree or disagree. Sure would be simple.
every 2 minutes in the states a woman is sexually assaulted. how great would it be if we lived in a world where i could open up the door to the ups man and not be nervous? how great would it be if we lived in a world where these women hadn't been asked out of nowhere while at work if a man they admired in a senior position could pull out his dick and beat off in front of them? jfc people like you miss the point entirely.
How great would it be if people didn't murder one another?
How great would it be if people didn't lose their minds over a dude jerking off?
How great would it be if self-righteous children with a victim complex didn't use the Internet?
i'm genuinely sorry you're this ignorant to social construction, though it must feel great.
While there’s no set in stone rule regarding red, it’s generally suggested that guest attire be more muted shades - bright, vibrant colors can show up oddly in photographs and draw away from the wedding colors/theme.
Really though, it’s an incredibly first world problem and not worth a crying bride and a family feud. Inching toward tacky? Sure. Actually rude and heinous behavior? Definitely not.
yeah, my cousin brought his girlfriend to a family wedding and she wore a slinky red dress. nobody made a fuss about it but several people did roll their eyes. red is an attention getting color.
It’s very possible that a red dress at a wedding was inappropriate.
i thought the same thing, it could have veered too closely to an evening gown. what you wear to a gala is not the same as what you wear to a wedding. a long red lace dress might've been a bit much. that said, op didn't intend any harm, and the people involved are acting childishly.
I'm curious, tell me more about the other "nuclear level" incidents that have occurred?
She has a huge issue with people that put down their pets that aren't like literally in the process of dying. I totally disagree with her on this but once she actually argued with someone who JUST lost his dog.
The dog had cancer and was suffering a lot when the family decided to forego another surgery and just put him down. He was already 12 so not super young either. My gf had a huge issue with it because she assumed they declined the surgery because they were cheap and voiced it to him and she added that no one would turn down the surgery if they could afford it. The guy absolutely lost his shit and went off at her. She doubled down and accused him of being a terrible pet owner. It was a really public fight.
The other one had to do with the younger sister of a friend of ours. The sister got into a top ranked university and received a full ride. My gf would randomly tell people that she bet it wasn't a merit scholarship but a financial aid one because their family was poor. She never told the actual sister this but a lot of people gave her shit for trying to put down a young girl's success.
wtf, op? your gf is a HORRIBLE person.
I have addressed these points with her. She is still super upset and acting like I am cancelling plans with her or something. I honestly feel bad, because I hate upsetting her, but I personally feel she is being unreasonable.
When we first started dating, I was 23 and getting stupid drunk twice a week on the weekends. I never really thought of it as a problem. I was in my early 20s and that’s what people my age did. It quickly slowed down to once a week after we started dating, and even then I would constantly check in with her and let her know I was ok. When things started getting serious with her, it basically went down to once a month, if that, because I knew it upset her.
There’s been 2 times in our relationship, both times in the first 2 years, where I got super drunk and ignored her for the night. It’s been over 3 years and she still brings that up EVERY time I go out with my friends.
what's the saying? don't kiss someones ass while they're shitting in your mouth? that's what you're doing by hating to upset her.
maybe a 6, but based mostly on the 2nd part when he gets into women's issues. things are a little touch and go at that point and his thoughts don't seem very collected or all that funny.
np! if it helps i really liked the first part, the second part just felt like a stream of conscious and that didn't do him any favors. i'm not easily offended and i still tilted my head a few times. parts of it, especially early on, just lacked depth imo and you need a bit of that with those issues or your point fails.
buy her a new beach towel of a similar value (because i wouldn't want it back after it was a rat towel either!) and she can either get over it or gtfo. correct the wrong then don't stress about it.
I can finally see that's what I've been doing. "Be on his side even when you know he's wrong" is what's always been hammered into my head, and it's so fundamentally wrong. I was raised to avoid confrontation, and look what a mess that's gotten me into.
I'd very much prefer if this didn't end in divorce, as he is otherwise wonderful and I can see a bright future with him if he can alter his money habits. Is there anything I can do to stop letting him make stupid decisions and get us back on the right track? "Get a proper job or I'm done?"
he is otherwise wonderful
a man that ignores you, is annoyed by you, and makes you feel alone in the room with him is otherwise wonderful? where?
so, I'm assuming he gets everything waxed too, yeah?
this is a silly comment, op said nothing about her hair preferences on him. you're saying since he prefers women waxed he has to wax too?
At the very least if he's never waxed his bits he has absolutely zero idea of just how much pain he's asking her to go through on the regular. I have a relatively good tolerance for pain and that shit still stings like a mofo, and the skin is incredibly irritated for at least a day afterwards. When I did it, it was for my own comfort/preference, so I was fine with the pain. IMO if a guy demands this from his SO it's grounds for breaking up, because the pain and expense is unlikely to be worth it.
he didn't ask her though. she brought it up to him and he told her his preference then. nowhere did op say he asked or pressured her for anything.
My mom tickled me once when young and my knees buckled, I went straight down laughing to get away, my mouth grazed the back of the kitchen chair... all my front braces ripped straight out... all these wires sticking out and straight up my face. Could have been much worse I suppose
okay this is the worst, you win.
Hmm, So I can totally believe it was a moment of panic peolpe do strange things, however at the end you mention you're pregnant? So he got worried enough about the improbable demise of his dog to slap you and say something like this, without concern for the Pregnancy? I would definitely sit him down and talk it out ensuring that (as long as it is something you both want) he knows that YOU are now his priority. Like if I had a pregnant partner, I'd be so protective!
.... he.. backhanded her.. upper... arm..