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all 107 comments

[–]SheWitnessedMe 354 points355 points  (5 children)

What if Scooby was just a guy dressed as a dog? Like all the monsters, just some weirdo in a costume.

[–]ilikechickepies 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Scooby doo is a furry confirmed

[–]Shippoyasha 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He would have gotten away with it too,

[–]levelbestasever 247 points248 points  (21 children)

No, no, no. Fred is a medium-tier drug dealer who is always selling from his mobile drug van, the “Mystery Machine”. Daphne is his hoe. Velma is the Walter White figure who cooks the meth and keeps the books. Shaggy is Fred’s blasted-out cokehead friend who tests the goodness of whatever psychotropics Fred is trying to bang for. Hence, all of the show is just hallucinations by Shaggy. Of course when they visit the creepy crack houses to do their deal, Shaggy starts tripping on “ghosts” and shit. The rest just humor him so he doesn’t go completely schizo. “Sure Shaggy, of course my massive drug-lord protection dog talks. Just try these new “Scooby-Snacks and tell me what you think? Seeing any spirits yet, Shag?”

[–]amidoingitright15 35 points36 points  (9 children)

I mean, I like the idea of this, but I think it’s pretty clear shaggy is a stoner.

[–]NamityName 2 points3 points  (8 children)

So? I had a stoner roommate just like shaggy. Sure, weed was his drug of choice, but that never stopped him from trying every other drug.

[–]TheDigeridont 43 points44 points  (0 children)

R/writingprompts

[–]greenfingers559 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you ever witnessed someone coked-out or hallucinating? Definitely don't act like shaggy

[–]CatFace79 2 points3 points  (1 child)

On the original cannon, Daphne and Velma are supposed to be lovers.

[–]turnsfast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could get behind this.

[–]lordsn0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re going this deep huh?

[–]Pinnaporaptor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to upvote this twice, I really do.

[–]MarvinStolehouse 107 points108 points  (1 child)

That would also explain why they always think they're seeing a ghost but ends up being Mr. Henderson in a mask after they come down.

[–]come_watchTV 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And he goes to jail for false rape charges

[–]-TheUndertoker- 28 points29 points  (3 children)

[–]Doru_C 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Omg this is not funny

Fucking thank you for this

[–]Nepherenia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cant decide between upvote and WTF

[–]SadboyBooHoo 17 points18 points  (0 children)

rehehehe

[–]KGB112 52 points53 points  (15 children)

That's not how weed works.

[–]almeidaalajoel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They didn't say it was weed. Though I can't think of a drug that would consistently cause anything close to that lol

[–]RamboRojas1 10 points11 points  (8 children)

Meth?

[–]d-methamphetamine 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Not how meth works either. lol

[–]100blockTracy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ehh, I could see how it could be meth. After you stay up for about 4 days to a week, you start getting your psychosis. And that's when you see the shadows under street lamps type shit. Someone is always "chasing" you. And when you come down you realize just how fucking crazy you sounded. I could see it being dope.

[–]expired_methylamine 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Wrong direction, think hallucinagenic/hippy drugs.

[–]RamboRojas1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Peyote? Lmao I don't know my drugs

[–]janga8 1 point2 points  (3 children)

There is no way on earth that those motherfuckers dont notice their tripping balls. Especially if your on a high enough dose to think your mates a dog.

Also no way they could solve a mystery or set traps. Or drive a van.

I cant even find my phone which im using on a moderate dose

[–]ninjapanda112 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I've driven on acid a few time. Granted the dose was under 400ug.

Anything above that knocks me the fuck out and has me thinking I'm dying.

[–]janga8 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Bro, if your driving on anythong more than 25ug, your an inconsiderate fucking arsehole (unless you arent talking about public roads). Your putting other people at extreme risk, and thats not acceptable, at all. Your driving a 2 tonne death machine, not a ball of fucking fluff.

Now, for those that dont know, 400ug is 4 standard tabs of acid. Most people will have 1-2 and trip balls. 200ug is absolutely insane, it puts you where your contenplating life, and unable to perform simple tasks (like, it took me an hour to make a sandwich). If your driving on 400ug (on public roads) you honestly deserve to suffer extreme PTSD knowing you killed someone elses child because you drove on acid.

Please ignore everything i said if you werent driving on public roads, in which case, it souds fun lmao.

[–]ninjapanda112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah. I was an irresponsible motherfucker. I actually drove to someone's house and picked up their kids cause they wanted to play video games at my place.

Another time, a friend wanted ice cream and some of the acid I took.

I probably did deserve to die or be traumatized.

No worries, God had that covered and due to my involvement with the family, I got a gun pointed at me and got evicted because I was too scared to leave my house. The family let me stay with them after that for some odd reason.

Even though

1) I fucked the mom's daughter and dumped her.

2) I put her kids life in danger.

It was a very strange, negative experience that I want to say I've learned from, but I mostly just isolate now.

[–]ElPenedeMuerte 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Came to say this.

[–]ancientcreature2 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'll rip your heart out through your butthole.

[–]SgWaterQn -1 points0 points  (2 children)

got lost or wanted to exit you could just walk out of it. On top would be a grid of water spouts that cast sheets of water down, and the maze layout could change daily

[–]NoOme03 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think you’re on the wrong post, budd...

[–]salfdave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is it sad I know the post he is talking about?

[–]sjryan 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What if the gang didn't solve mysteries, they were just high and made themselves a nuisance until the cops showed up. The gang thought the cops were there to arrest the villain, but in fact the 'villain' was actually just the owner-manager who got tired of the gang blundering around on his property and called the cops to make the gang leave.

"Sir, do you want to press trespassing charges?"

"Naw, I just want to go back to bed and get some sleep. Which I would be doing right now, if not for those kids and their dog."

[–]puffinrockrules 9 points10 points  (1 child)

He is just a furry

[–]evil95 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I don't think Velma gets high. I could be wrong though

[–]TwoWheelsOnline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hes the real dawg

[–]curiouspyrokitten 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What if the gang were all just dogs but Scooby was the high one?

[–]verniedee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Shut the fuck up, Donny

[–]fm_reap3r 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Donny you’re out of your element

[–]karmobot 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You clearly have never smoked weed.

[–]jackjackpattywack 7 points8 points  (8 children)

This is so gorgeous

[–]Carl_the_asshat 13 points14 points  (4 children)

I think OP is high in the shower

[–]another_day_in 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Get down, you might fall!

[–]Carl_the_asshat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh fuck! I forgot I was high as well!

[–]ciscosis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This seems like a great setup to come up with material for /r/Showerthoughts

[–]SheWitnessedMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even better

[–]dauhhh 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Here’s a Scooby snack^

[–]WHYDIDYOUDELETESYS32 1 point2 points  (0 children)

!redditScoobySnack

[–]SgWaterQn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

got lost or wanted to exit you could just walk out of it. On top would be a grid of water spouts that cast sheets of water down, and the maze layout could change daily

[–]ndrwgn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Scooby was originally written as a black man. The writers would only pitch stories that made him the comic relief. To avoid accusations of racism Hanna-Barbera changed him to a dog and changed nothing else.

[–]jayjord33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wanna be that high

[–]mattscott41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, Scooby's friends see him as a dog and so does the audience so I am gonna assume he is a dog

[–]MisterBigDude 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would that make it an animated equivalent of Life of Pi?

[–]Iplaymeinreallife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ruh roh!

[–]trump4prezy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More likely he's a normal dog but they hear him speak because they're high

[–]VehaMeursault 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fred is a high school Chad drug dealer that constantly sneaks off to fuck with Daphne, the attention seeking plastic looking for constant validation, and Shaggy is permanently in the clouds afflicted with the munchies while talking to an overfed dog that he thinks talks back. None of the group actually communicate with the dog, but the whole thing is from the perspective of Shaggy, and in his mind they do and it all makes sense.

Velma just goes along with it because in her insecurity she's finally happy to have people she calls friends.

[–]ETHERBOT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is, still, my favorite thing ever posted to this subreddit

[–]Hail_Odins_Beard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not how any of this works

[–]jkstudent222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its a cartoon . yur just always high

[–]SecretStormX 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why are so many of these comments about weed? Getting high isn't unique to marijuana.

[–]Eman061903 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, weed doesn’t cause hallucinations, that’s what acid is for!

[–]F0xman0821 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scooby-Doo's middle name is Doobie, everything clearly is a reference to weed. The live action film the chicks name was Mary Jane just so later shaggy could say!"I love Mary Jane"

[–]jebjireb 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Omg

[–]MisterBigDude 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Omg

Dog

FTFY

[–]TrexismTrent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considering other characters in the Scooby Doo universe refer to Scooby as a dog I don't think that possible. Well unless the gang just smokes so much weed it gets everyone in a mile radius high and knowing Shaggy I wouldn't put it past them.

[–]SeanKiely 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scooby snacks are laced with LSD confirmed

[–]BigAndy22265 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then why do the people dressed as monsters always refer to him as a dog?

[–]perfectlycrispy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scooby Dooby Doo

[–]FlameShadow0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

According to the canon of scooby doo. Scooby-Doo is a god descended from ancient gods who were also talking animals. No seriously

[–]corsair1617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a highthought not a showerthought.

[–]egrith 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well with the look of their van and shaggy as a whole, seems kinda obvious.

[–]Awptown_Funk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is he a furry or just black

[–]lmward10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to check out this scooby doo conspiracy page here . You won’t be disappointed

[–]SweptFever80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So when he stuck his tail in locks to unlock doors it was his...? Ru-roh.

[–]the_simurgh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

obviously scooby is a dog who can talk because ancient super beings from another dimension came down took the bodies of animals and taught humans math and stuff..... nah i'm just yanking your chain they are stoners and think the dog talks because they are high as a kite.

[–]JustPlayDaGame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that as "What is Scooby was just a normal dog but the gang thought he was a super dog because they were always super high." Still grammatically correct, I just don't know how I read that...

[–]CaptainCrappin 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I just shit in my pants.

[–]captblackfang 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Were they at least your brown ones?

[–]The_Almighty_LeeLee 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Honestly who the fuck buys brown pants

[–]captblackfang 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People who work retail or in an office.

[–]Smudgeio -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, then they'd all be dogs

[–]freesp33chisstilldea -1 points0 points  (0 children)

DMT maybe, but not weed.