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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 28.84 months of server time

Having depression is similar to wearing sunglasses, everything looks darker than it really is and the longer you have them/it the harder is to go back by DeltaNoob in Showerthoughts

[–]DeltaNoob[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

It's even worse when you realize how fucked up everything is but you still need to pretend you're enjoying the show.

Being a Millennial today feels like showing up at the party an hour after it's over and having the host hand you a mop and tell you you're lucky to have been invited. by FNFollies in Showerthoughts

[–]greglyda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the millennial generation should be renamed to the microwave generation since so many want instant success without having to wait for the pot to boil.

To prevent a piece of paper from folding, you put it in a folder. by Notcreativeatall1 in Showerthoughts

[–]devasohouse 6 points7 points  (0 children)

in German, Heil is lol.

Never realized they were saying 'lol hitler'

EDIT: thanks for the gold, I did nazi see that coming. (Sorry, had too)

You don’t realise just how much nonsense the media talk until they report on something you know a lot about/have a career in. by TheDoctor46RFC in Showerthoughts

[–]JuliaDD 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's so true. I work in finance and I get so aggravated watching those "home buyer" shows on TV, where a couple will be shown several houses they can choose from. I shit you not, like 2 weeks ago I saw an episode where the husband introduced himself and his situation by saying "I'm currently unemployed and my wife is a stay at home mom, so our budget is $2000 a month." I nearly screamed. That's just not how any of this works.

Edit: looking through other comments I'm shocked how hard the gun lobbyists are hitting this thread. Clearly the NRA discovered Reddit, but jeez Louise guys, if you're going to try and infiltrate Reddit to push your agenda, at least TRY to make it not so obvious.

In most groups of friends, one of them will eventually go to all the other friends' funerals, and one of them won't go to anyone's funeral by Lichewitz in Showerthoughts

[–]HowShittyThouArt 8553 points8554 points  (0 children)

My grandmother had this friend Gayle who she'd been best friends with since 6th grade, absolutely inseparable. Gayle couldn't have kids so my grandmother even named my aunt after her. I remember when I was young, my dad would bring me to her house for cookouts with their group of old lady friends, there was a group of like 7 of them plus their husbands.

Through the years the group became smaller and smaller. My parents never made me go to their funerals because I really didn't know any of them that well except for Gayle and a lady named Pattie (and also didn't realize they were dead). Then when I was 15, it got to the point where it was just Gayle, Gayle's husband, Pattie, and my grandparents.

Then within the span of like 2 years Pattie died, then my grandfather died, then Gayle's husband died. All Gayle had left was her best friend, my grandmother. Then last year my grandmother died.

She outlived every single one of her friends. I remember feeling less upset about my grandmother's death than seeing Gayle showing up to her funeral all by herself. I'm sure she has friends elsewhere but she outlived every one of her close loved ones.

I NEVER want to be Gayle.

Every relationship is a language, and when you break up, you cannot speak it with anyone anymore. by red_panda_advocate in Showerthoughts

[–]iruleatants 731 points732 points  (0 children)

They are useful for something. Don't look back at them as a "What I lost" concept, look back at it as a "what I can have again". Every relationship, regardless of how it ends, is a good thing. We learn important parts of how to communicate with other humans, and what we want from a relationship. Every time we fuck up, we learn why we fucked up and now to not fuck up in the future, and every time they fuck up, we learn what made them fuck up, and how to handle those fuck ups in the future.

So those memories are there as a reminder. What do you remember the most fondly of your relationships? Those are the things that are important to you?

What do you regret the most? Those at the things you should work on before your next relationship, or during your next relationship.

You once found someone who wanted you in there life, and wanted to share it with you. You will find another person to do that, the proof is in your memories. When that next person comes along, you can cherish the moments even more, and commit to them even better, and who knows, that person just might be there forever.

That feeling when you’re smart enough to know how awkward you are, but not smart enough to know how not to be awkward. by redladyblaze in Showerthoughts

[–]TheRealR2D2 1867 points1868 points  (0 children)

You are on level 2 of 3. Level 3 is knowing all of that and becoming aware that being whole is about being OK with who you are today and understanding that who you are changes almost everyday in small, slow ways. Awkward is a transition, sometimes just within yourself, as you learn when it's safe to be you.

Alcoholism is when you consume so much alcohol that it consumes you by denkmemz in Showerthoughts

[–]dagwood11 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man

F Scott Fitzgerald

Snipers and surgeons need steady hands for the exact opposite reasons by notlabla in Showerthoughts

[–]VillianV1 3320 points3321 points  (0 children)

In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, Yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No english, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

Flat Earthers never seem to appreciate how lucky we are that the Earth is horizontal rather than vertical by freshmormons in Showerthoughts

[–]KyloRensLBD 536 points537 points  (0 children)

I'm a flat earther, eat mostly flat diet: pancakes, flounder, love coke that's been open for 2-3d. Big fan of Tom Brady. Deflate more I say!

It’s funny to think that Red, White and Blue are the colors of freedom until they are flashing behind you. by fish1ako in Showerthoughts

[–]rng_5123 596 points597 points  (0 children)

The Dutch flag is the original red, white and blue flag for freedom (of religion and from colonizer Spain). First recorded appearance 1572.

League of Legends' community must be quite nice now that every 12 years olds are playing Fortnite. by Ellibanais in Showerthoughts

[–]Coooturtle 14.6k points14.6k points  (0 children)

Most of the toxic people are like 20 somethings who think they are playing in the superbowl.

Someone had a crush on you, was totally secretely in love with you, dreamed at you at night and you have no idea by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]compsci2000 1401 points1402 points  (0 children)

Agreed. It's hard to be loved when you don't talk to anyone and all you do is jump out of trash cans to scare pedestrians.

EDIT: Huh, that's a lot of upvotes. Should probably clarify that I've never actually seen Arrested Development, I was actually referencing the fact that last Saturday I spent about an hour literally hiding inside trash cans and jumping out at people as they went to throw things out, because I'm a bored teenager with no money for weed

EDIT: I got Reddit gold! My life has meaning now! Goodbye friends, I'm off to Valhalla!

Meal prepping is basically eating a week's worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened. by Knuckle_dick in Showerthoughts

[–]SalcaPaneer 275 points276 points  (0 children)

Okay, I agree. You've convinced me. From here on out the following definition is agreed upon.

Leftover: The rest of a plated meal you started to consume, but didn't eat fully and preserved in order to eat it later.

Sorry OP, your showerthought no longer stands.

Edit: Haha, wow, guys, great to see you all being so concerned about a proper definition of leftover. In this case, we are using plated in the broad sense: a meal that was intended to be eaten shortly after preperation was put onto something carrying the plate function or stayed in the apparatus it was prepared in that now carries the plating function. Which means your 'plate' can also have the form of a unicorn. I hope this resolves all your issues, and that I now can go back to my daily task haha.

Also, thank you for the gold kind stranger :)

Brain surgery is just a bunch of brains helping out another brain. by TheGeek_Effect in Showerthoughts

[–]manliestmarmoset 114 points115 points  (0 children)

Hydrogen is a funny little gas that teams up and, given 13 billion years to get ready, starts wondering why it exists.