gildings in this subreddit have paid for 27.27 months of server time

As adults we are told "Don't bring your work home with you", yet as youngsters all we were taught was that homework an essential part of life. by tapdancinghotdog in Showerthoughts

[–]stroupzilla 1507 points1508 points  (0 children)

That is why I stopped assigning homework to students. I found that my own children were bringing home way too much - either way too much repetition or too much learn this on your own. So instead I maximize the 45 minutes I have each day with each student.

Google maps needs a bathroom button so you can find the closest one in a hurry by securityseminars in Showerthoughts

[–]grizzlyboxers 3233 points3234 points x2 (0 children)

I drive a lot for work. When I find a good public toilet, I use google maps to drop a pin and custom label it appropriately. I also share my pins with other friends in my industry and it works well for everyone.

Edit: I share with 1 friend.

Edit 2: my first, and second, gold ever is about my toilet habits. Thank you!

It’s so hard to read the caption written on a girl’s t-shirt and not come off as creepy. by bat__blah in Showerthoughts

[–]i_am_not_sam 6392 points6393 points  (0 children)

we had a huge frantic apology session right there on the sidewalk.

Is that Canadian for sex?

It’s so hard to read the caption written on a girl’s t-shirt and not come off as creepy. by bat__blah in Showerthoughts

[–]AlbusQ 2368 points2369 points x2 (0 children)

Okay here we go.

First of all I'm a big believer in respect and manners. Sure here on reddit from time to time I go a little off track but in public I believe in being a gentleman and I will look at a guy who is acting improperly in my eyes with disdain and disgust. If they get too far out of line I am the type to intervene even physically if necessary.

That said. If you are a woman and you put a line of text across your breasts don't get offended if you see someone glancing or looking at them. The same applies to low cut shirts, dresses, or anything else. You wanted attention when you did it but you wanted attention from the people you were trying to attract. You didn't want it from the ugly dudes, the fat ones, the old ones, etc.. but maam if you are 'dressed to impress' and look good you are GOING to get looked at.

I can put this in a hunting or fishing analogy but I think I'll go with hunting for now. Granted I don't hunt anymore (animals or women) but it holds true. Let's say deer season is coming up. I set up my feeder and head home. All that delicious deer corn is there to lure the deer I want for a trophy or meat for the year. Well along come some feral hogs. They manage to get into my feed and eat it all up. Annoying? Sure it is. I wasn't trying to attract hogs. I was trying to attract deer. There's no reason to get mad at the hogs for doing what they do I just had some bad luck and a bit of poor planning on my part.

The same thing applies to women. Now my wife is VERY cute (way out of my league) and, when she dresses a little sexy, or a little tight, I tell her not to be surprised or offended if the 60 year old or the fat ugly guy checks her out. Okay if they're leering or making offensive statements sure get offended but, if you lay that bait out there, from time to time you're going to attract something you didn't want.

THAT SAID. As previously stated I believe in being a gentleman. If I see a woman that I consider attractive I will glance but I won't stare. If she's wearing a shirt with a slogan across the front I will, more than likely, try to read it. If it's suggestive I might linger a little longer.

Let's face it. If I went out in public with a slogan button on my jeans pinned over my penis I'm pretty sure a lot of people would take a look (not that I'm all that impressive lol).

So ladies if you're going to go outside and try to be 'attractive' you DO run the risk of attracting someone you are completely not interested in. You threw out the bait. Don't be pissed at anybody but yourself if you have to deal with a few pigs along the way.

Flip that whole thing over though. If a guy is being a creep I think it's incumbent on actual men to step in and shut him down. In my opinion we have absolutely GOT to start being more aware of when another guy is being a creep and let him know that type of behavior is wrong and needs to stop. My wife tells me that, when she goes out to the store alone, she gets a lot of attention and even some creepy ones. When she goes with me pretty much nobody looks. That's kind of funny to me because I'm not very big (5' 9" 160 lbs) but my face has been described as a person who would rip yours off for a quarter. Even when I'm in a good mood I look grumpy.

So, ya, if you see or hear a guy getting out of line with a woman I think it's incumbent for gentlemen to invest themselves in the situation and let the guy that is out of line know that that type of behavior is not appropriate and won't be tolerated.

But that's me and I'm probably going to get ROYALLY flamed for this post but I can handle it :)

It’s so hard to read the caption written on a girl’s t-shirt and not come off as creepy. by bat__blah in Showerthoughts

[–]LonePaladin 572 points573 points  (0 children)

he was trying to be all subtle about it

That's because most women have the opposite mindset. They don't understand that guys' brains are hardwired to look, it's harder for us to not do so. Especially nowadays, a lot of women wear revealing clothing, then get angry when guys look at what's being revealed.

It would be like walking around with a flashing strobe light, then getting mad at everyone that looks.

"Based on a true story" movies are all part of the same series. by yetanotherAZN in Showerthoughts

[–]LordZephram 7429 points7430 points  (0 children)

Until Disney buys reality and scraps all of the historical canon

It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe, and that daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame by DoodleQueen626 in Showerthoughts

[–]DarkCrawler_901 12.8k points12.8k points x2 (0 children)

The Sun makes the most sense to worship as a god. It is the giver of all life and heat, around which our world literally orbits. It is unfathomably massive compared to us, and incalculably generous in the energy and light it gives us. If you spend too much time in its presence, you will perish, you literally can't look directly at the freaking thing without going blind. If I believed there was a god I'd bet on the big bright fucker too.

The skeleton isn't inside you, you're the brain so you're inside the skeleton. by Moonical in Showerthoughts

[–]rillip 151 points152 points  (0 children)

I'm just lying here staring at my feet like, I'm over there too but I feel like I'm over here.

The skeleton isn't inside you, you're the brain so you're inside the skeleton. by Moonical in Showerthoughts

[–]flemhead3 739 points740 points  (0 children)

What if Claustrophobia is just the brain realizing it’s inside a skull? takes 50 bong rips

A man's nipples are the biological equivalent of the blank plastic panels they put in a car in places where you didn't get certain options. by Dreamcast3 in Showerthoughts

[–]joniii123 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Careful! I think that can be the case when you have a certain brain tumor (a Prolactinoma, tumor of the pituitary gland which untreated can leave permanent damage).

Edit: ok maybe not usually, but if it happens spontaniously, you should have it checked out!

Edit 2: wow! Thank you very much for the gold! Even though I really didn‘t expect it for this comment, it’s very kind :-).

A man's nipples are the biological equivalent of the blank plastic panels they put in a car in places where you didn't get certain options. by Dreamcast3 in Showerthoughts

[–]Befriendjamin 1489 points1490 points  (0 children)

The waitress seats us and she is wearing an ugly yellow shirt with the name of the restaurant in red lettering on it and this is a family-owned restaurant and the chairs are horrible, my back is hurting already, so I lean halfway forward to see if that helps and I unintentionally evince an interest in what my mother’s husband is saying because he turns to look at me. “I got an amazon echo and what you can do is you can buy these lightbulbs, so I bought three, and now I can control the lights in the house. I say, Alexa, turn on kitchen lights, and the lights turn on, and then I say, Alexa turn off kitchen lights. And the lights turn off.”

I am suddenly distracted by a couple who just walked in and the girl is wearing these high waisted jeans and they sit down at a table near us and my mother’s husband realizes I am not paying attention to him but he doesn’t want to be rude so he just keeps talking. The couple next us, in their early twenties, are talking about their day. He asks her why she and her friend didn’t go to the anthropologies in this city instead of the one in a nearby city and this seems like a terribly boring conversation so I look down at my menu and the server comes and we get the soup and a few other appetizers and I get mango chicken and return to my eavesdropping. The guy is now telling his girlfriend about a new book. “It came out yesterday. It’s by this author, Brandon Sanderson, it’s the third book in a series. Oathbringer. It’s 1300 pages long.”

“Wow,” she says. I don’t want to stare at them but I imagine her nodding as she says it. “The book is much funnier than the other two, more comedic. He’s given life to all the objects in his universe, Cosmere, and the swords and these spirit things called Spren, are given all the humor in the book and it’s just really good.”

Two minutes later an old man gets up from a table near them and says, “Excuse me, I heard you talking about a book that came out yesterday. Are you referring to Jake Bernstein’s book on the Panama Papers?” I motion with my entire head to my mother and her husband to look over at their table, at this amazing thing that is happening right now and we all wait for the guy’s answer. “Oh no, I was referring to Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson.”

“Oh, my mistake,” says the old man, and he laughs.

“It’s no problem,” says the guy, smiling, and his girlfriend is smiling and we’re all smiling and the whole room is smiling and the raindrops are falling in their billions outside and the old man goes back to his table and my world contracts back to my own table as my mother tells me about her recent trip to Israel with my grandfather, who is 92, where they attended a holocaust conference and my grandfather got an infection, because he’s 92, and his right hand swelled up like a balloon until he could no longer feel it or even close it and they took him to the nearest hospital, in eastern jerusalem, where the doctors and staff speak arabic and hebrew but not english, says my mother, and she’s trying very hard not to be racist, but she is failing and says, it was a dirty place, we should have gone to another hospital. Well, says her husband, it was important that you went to the nearest one. They both look at me and I nod because that seems like the thing to do.

Google translate is like a person who knows many languages but is not good at any of them. by awesam95 in Showerthoughts

[–]Dapper_Penguin1 1979 points1980 points  (0 children)

Just did that and got this gem

EDIT: Thank you, kind anonymous redditor, for the gold! Appreciate it!

Web Browsers should wait and see if you got the password correct before asking if you want to save, update, or never for this website. by Po1sonator in Showerthoughts

[–]FeatheredSun 1169 points1170 points  (0 children)

I think there might be some security implications here, also the fact that the browser can't really penis if the password is correct because you usually get redirected to another site regardless if it's right or not.

Eating lunch alone as a kid is like torture, getting to eat lunch alone as an adult is a nice treat. by YMCAle in Showerthoughts

[–]erin_mouse88 5964 points5965 points  (0 children)

My colleagues usually eat in the cafeteria or go out to lunch in groups, i have been with the company for 14 months and havent been to the cafeteria or lunch out once. I pack a lunch and go eat in the park, then I take a 2 mile walk. Sometimes my husband joins me. If its raining I drive to the park but eat in the car and just listen to the rain. I have to deal with people all day, at lunch I dont want to listen to or talk to anyone.

It's a little bit fucked up that Subway got their "5 Dollar Footlong" jingle burned into our brains forever and now it's not even a thing anymore. by mutatersalad1 in Showerthoughts

[–]Didiams 11.2k points11.2k points  (0 children)

You think that's bad.. I like chicken I like liver meow mix meow mix please deliver. It's been like 20 years and I hear it every morning before I fully wake up.

Edit: It'll take years of therapy before I scrub all these shitty jingles from my brain. Thanks reddit