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32.6k
Posted by馃尰6 months ago
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91% Upvoted
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level 1

It's Susan Downey Jr.

level 2

I knew something seemed off.

level 3

OP is a downey

level 4
132 points6 months ago

Jr.

level 5
[deleted]
64 points6 months ago

I knew something seemed off.

level 6
16 points6 months ago

All of y'all deserve an oscar for this thread

level 6
16 points6 months ago

Suddenly, everywhere

level 5
10 points6 months ago

Rita Skeeter gasps

level 2
.tumblr.com69 points6 months ago

I think that every time i see this

level 2

In case this is serious. The Jr is just a generational suffix because his dad is Robert Downey Sr.

level 1
1.0k points6 months ago

For not having prepared a speech, that was pretty well done though...

level 2
ten points to dumbledore925 points6 months agoedited 6 months ago

"I would like to thank Susan downey, for" flips cue card

"telling me Matt Damon was gonna win so don't bother to plan a" flips cue card

"speech"

level 3
691 points6 months ago

"And also for inventing" flips cue card "four-sided cue cards."

level 4
ten points to dumbledore88 points6 months ago

Susan Downey has many talents

level 4

CUbE cards

level 5

Tesseract cards?

level 6

Tesserards.


Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'Tesseract cards?'. To learn more about me, check out this FAQ.

level 7

Good bot. You tried.

level 7

Tards. They're called tards.

level 3
34 points6 months ago

How fucking big does he write

level 4
ten points to dumbledore38 points6 months ago

He uses very small cue cards

level 4
pee your pants so you don鈥檛 violate the NAP5 points6 months ago
level 3
10 points6 months ago

Now I want to see someone give the "unprepared speech" who whips out a cue card and keeps flipping it over like 5 times.

level 3
3 points6 months ago

A cue card with three sides. Impressive.

level 2

He didn't say he didn't prepare a speech, he only said that she said he shouldn't bother writing one.

level 1
Not a Furry2.7k points6 months ago

RDJ is one of my favourite humans.

level 2

He鈥檚 my favorite actor. I have both of the Sherlock Holmes movies and watch them constantly.

level 3
299 points6 months ago

I hope you mean regularly. Unless you are watching it right now right after you finished watching one of them. I don鈥檛 know.

level 4

I can not confirm nor deny any of these allegations.

level 5
Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)
level 6

As I previously said.... I can not confirm nor deny any of these allegations.

level 4
29 points6 months ago

I heard once about this guy who carried a VHS copy of Godfather with him and every time he was somewhere with a VCR, he'd take it out of his jacket and pop it in until it was time to go. Maybe that's what Retail does.

level 5

But that's a 2 vhs film

level 6

The guy probably recorded it on a blank tape at the slowest speed.

level 4

When I got my first DVD player the only movie I owned was hackers and it played constantly in my room for weeks. Somehow I still love that movie and watch it whenever it pops up on Netflix.

level 5
[deleted]
8 points6 months ago

Holy shit, same. Hackers was my first DVD and still one of my favorite movies.

level 5

Hack the planet!

level 6
3 points6 months ago

HACK THE PLANET!

level 5
1 point6 months ago

Hell yes!

1 more reply

level 3

Gotta watch Sherlock Holmes once a year at least, one of my favourite movies.

level 4

I watch them at least once a week... I don鈥檛 have internet at home, so I basically just watch movies on my Xbox when I go to bed. And it usually comes down to either Sherlock Holmes or iron man. Sometimes I鈥檒l watch Deadpool, but rarely.

level 5
3 points6 months ago

That sounds like it would get old really fast.. I've always found that if I enjoyed something to such excess it would become boring quickly.

level 6

Surprisingly it doesn鈥檛, not for me at least.

level 7
3 points6 months ago

Clearly haha, good on you my man.

level 3

I wish they would鈥檝e come out with a third one :/

level 4

Still a possibility. With the Marvel phases coming to an end, still possible.

level 5
10 points6 months ago

Script has been written shooting to begin late this year or early next year

level 6
7 points6 months agoedited 6 months ago

I think they鈥檝e had the script finished a couple years ago, but haven鈥檛 had the time to shoot it due to the schedules of RDJ and Jude Law. But since then they鈥檝e essentially been perfecting the script, so it鈥檚 hopefully going to be great whenever it comes out

level 7

99 out of 100 times if script are better before they have been rewritten repeatedly

level 7

Jude Law has a schedule?

level 6

What?! No way!

level 3

For a moment there I thought you meant Shreck and I was surprised.

level 2

Same

level 3

I鈥檓 gonna comment here purely so you don鈥檛 get cancer from seeing the other 2 comments

level 4
Relevant Oglaf23 points6 months ago

I should not have doubted you.

180 more replies

level 2

Solid man actually, like made out of iron

level 2

Ted Cruz is one of my favourite lizardmen.

level 3
Not a Furry2 points6 months ago

He鈥檚 my favourite serial killer.

level 2

Why?

level 3
[deleted]
20 points6 months ago

Cause he's neat.

level 4

huh

level 5

I understood that reference

1 more reply

level 2

Have we forgotten that Tom Hanks is also a human?

11 more replies

level 1
1.7k points6 months ago

Susan is from my town and its so weird to think someone from my town is married to RDJ and I can't even convince a sack of potatoes to go on a date with me.

level 2
1.9k points6 months ago

Maybe try a human being? Potatoes are very averse to dates.

level 3
249 points6 months ago

Got to start small then work my way up to humans.

level 4
ten points to dumbledore84 points6 months ago

What should I start with? Potatoes keep giving me dirty looks

level 5

Try boxed potatoes.

level 6
ten points to dumbledore80 points6 months ago

I don't support boxed potatoes, I believe they should be free range like nature intended

level 7
Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)
level 8
ten points to dumbledore9 points6 months ago

That's barbaric. I just date them.

level 6
5 points6 months ago

No way, boxed potatoes are a bunch of flakes

level 5

Dirty looks from a potato 馃 is a good thing. They often have dirt in their eyes.

level 5

Start with some other kind of fruit and work your way up to dates.

level 5

Start with vodka.

level 5

It just looks that way because of all the eyes

level 4

Just skip the small human step, please.

level 4

Try feeding a stray cat. All the benefits of a creature happily repeatedly visiting you, albeit being cold and distant from your actual presence, with the freedom to know that it鈥檒l eventually dip out to the next neighbor and never come back if you stop leaving it food, giving you that gateway and preparation to move up to human.

level 5

If it was only so easy to get a woman to move in simply by offering food and skritches.

level 6

Oh, feral cat won鈥檛 let you skritch. It鈥檚 more realistic. You鈥檒l have to go for the long haul before you can get some skritches in.

level 4

Psh That鈥檚 small potatoes

level 4
level 4

No, they said potatoes are the ones adverse to dating. You gotta start with Hunans and work your way up to potatoes.

1 more reply

level 3
9 points6 months ago

Yeah but, if you're looking to put down roots, potatoes are the way to go

level 4

Those are yams!

level 3

Only the racist ones. Most potatoes are very acceptable of dates nowadays even though they are smaller, more wrinkly, and a darker brown.

level 4

So why can't you find a date? Still stuck jacking off to these subs?

level 5

When nothing else will do

level 6

Go to bed kiddo

level 3
Comment deleted6 months ago(0 children)
level 3

With a little butter and sour cream thinks can get a bit messy between me and any potato baby.

level 3
2 points6 months ago

There is one kind of potato here which its called 鈥淎utodate鈥. Or in perfect english 鈥淥ut of date鈥.

level 3

One is a root vegetable, the other is a fruit. It'll never work!

level 3

But while you鈥檙e in the supermarket, most of them actually sell dates. Usually near the nuts and fruit, to me they taste gross but this guy seems to have his heart set on them.

level 3

Not from my experience.

level 3

Yeah have you ever tried cooking the two together? The sweetness of dates doesn't mix well with the savory nature of potatoes

level 3

Is it because they're fruits? Are potatoes averse to non-spud relationships?

level 3
1 point6 months ago

Except if you're making ginseng soup, in which case potatoes and dates get along fine.

level 3

very averse to dates.

Totally read that as: "very average to date" [6]

level 3

Yet they're huge on having their skin peeled. Such weird masochistic interests.

At least they're a step above onions, the sadists. They love to make people cry.

level 3

especially if you're irish; they just seem to disappear when you mention it

level 3

What's a potato?

level 3

They prefer getting to know wedding vegetables

level 2

Worst thing about dating a sack of potatoes is the eyes. You don't know where to look.

level 2
32 points6 months ago

What are potatoes?

level 3
14 points6 months ago

Precious.

level 4

Boil 'em, mash 'em, tastes very strange!

level 4

Is it like one of them computer things I keep hearing about?

level 3

Cook them, crush them, put them in a soup!

1 more reply

level 2

Have you tried asking out the humans?

level 2
7 points6 months ago

Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. Your dates are probably taking it as a personal insult.

level 2

If enough people are interested I'll start a Masterclass on seducing sacks of potatoes.

level 2
16 points6 months ago

Step 1: Be RDJ
Step 2: Actually, that's it.

level 3
1 point6 months ago

Be attractive

Don't be unattractive

level 2

She鈥檚 also a horror film producer.

level 2

What鈥檚 a potato?

level 2

CorRock314: 鈥渉ey, can I take you out for dinner some time?鈥 Potato:鈥.............鈥

level 2

Well, someone from my hometown is married to Kobe so sheeeeeeeeet.

level 3

The internet knows about a lot more hometowns of people now.

level 4

I found out when I was in HS. It was definitely the talk of the town when it was found out he was dating a girl from Marina HS.

level 2

Have you tried complimenting the potatoes? Just say something like 鈥渄ammmmn poatato, you looking fiiiiine鈥

Potatoes love compliments.

level 2

I'd try dating something that doesn't have to be dug up from the ground.

level 2

I鈥檓 a sack of potatoes and I think we鈥檇 get along great

level 2

Bacon goes much better on dates than a potato

level 1
519 points6 months ago
level 2
123 points6 months ago

This is a pretty funny speech. Worth the watch.

level 3

I wouldn't have watched it otherwise, but now I'm glad I did. Thanks!

level 4

I wouldn't have watched it without the double confirmation, but now I'm glad I did. Thanks!

level 5

The triple confirmation really did it for me. The speech really great. Thanks.

level 6

I was gonna watch it before I saw you guys recommend it, but I'm not one to succumb to peer pressure.

level 7

Your doubt has inspired me not to be a coward so I watched it. Thanks!

level 6

I enjoyed the second to last shot of the clip. T.hanks

level 2
18 points6 months ago

I love him.

level 2

I鈥檇 like to NOT THANK you for sharing this video.

Anyhow, what movie was this award for? He said they were up against Avatar. Maybe Tropic Thunder?

level 3

Sherlock Holmes. He mentioned Guy Ritchie.

level 3
11 points6 months ago

Warlock Gnomes

level 4

Clockwork Bones

level 3
6 points6 months ago

Sherlock Holmes.

level 3

Sherlock Holmes

level 2

Was laughing until I saw Bill Paxton at the end there. :(

level 1
fresh from the source341 points6 months ago

so is this like.. a screenshot of a tweet of a screenshot of a tumblr post from 2010

level 2
141 points6 months ago
level 3
57 points6 months ago

Never let this die https://imgur.com/vJtwNXo

level 4

Needs more jpeg

level 5

Needs more jpeg

There you go!

I am a bot

level 6

Needs more jpeg

level 7

Needs more jpeg

There you go!

I am a bot

level 8

Needs more jpeg

level 9

Needs more jpeg

There you go!

I am a bot

level 10

Needs more jpeg

level 3

Hi, I'm a bot for linking direct images of albums with only 1 image

https://i.imgur.com/S40bVPe.png

Source | Why? | Creator | ignoreme | deletthis

level 4

Needs more jpeg

level 3

...Did anyone else accidentally click on the image trying to close the expando?

level 2
3 points6 months ago

We are getting more efficient. Only took a couple days

level 3
fresh from the source2 points6 months ago

what did?

level 4
2 points6 months ago

At turning screenshots into tumblr screenshots

level 5
fresh from the source2 points6 months ago

this was originally a tumblr screenshot. what took a couple of days?

level 1
107 points6 months ago

I love Susan Downey. I've never met her or seen her picture but I love her all the same. RDJ credits her for getting sober and staying sober and I can't think of a better gift for everyone than keeping him in our lives and on our screens. I would send her flowers every day if I could.

level 2

I would send her

*a floor-to-ceiling stuffed rabbit

everyday if I could.

level 3

That's ... oddly specific.

level 4
level 5

I had completely forgotten, well done

level 5

looks like boobs

level 2

Celebrity worship is so fucking weird

level 3
18 points6 months ago

Oh, I don't worship RDJ, I just deeply appreciate his redemption. I worship Kate Beckinsale.

level 1
Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)
level 2

No wonder Marvel picked him for Iron Man. He's basically the same person in the movies lol.

level 1
level 2
201 points6 months ago

not sure why you're getting downvotes, this is textbook homicide. Reasonably funny thing surrounded by three layers of captions about how funny it is.

level 3
[deleted]
61 points6 months ago

LMAOOOOO WHO DID THIS?

level 4

馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀

馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀

level 3

surrounded by three layers of captions about how funny it is.

This is the internet equivalent of laugh tracks

level 3
10 points6 months ago

If you read enough of these, you eventually train yourself to completely ignore them

level 3

Yeah but it's still kinda funny.

level 4

less funny than it would have been. it was good, but was ruined, hence homicide.

level 1

When I moved to Los Angeles and got my first apartment, it was in a small two-story complex (about 15 units) built around a garden courtyard, like you find in SoCal a lot. My new neighbor/friend told me that the unit right below mine used to belong to RDJ's dealer, and back in the day they used to run into RDJ all the time coming and going with his stash. It was my first Hollywood celebrity connection story. I'll always cherish it.

level 1

Source?

level 1

Who鈥檚 meant for who?

level 2

Robert Downey jr and his wife Susan Downey

level 3

Oh!

level 2

Robert Downey Jr and Matt Damon

level 2

For WHOM, you barbarian!

level 1

He pulled his ass out of the death line. He redeemed himself and made that change that so many others don鈥檛 have the fortitude to do. They die. He lived. That鈥檚 something to applaud no matter celebrity or not. Why so many envious haters? The hater thing says so much about a persons personal sadness.

level 1
level 1
23 points6 months ago

This is fucking savage on so many levels.

level 2

I think it's just the one level

level 3

And it鈥檚 not savage at all

1 more reply

1 more reply

level 1

N E V E R L E T T H I S D I E

level 1

What's Richard Hammond got to do with Susan Downey?

level 1

Got em!

17 more replies

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