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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
krolineart [score hidden]

Let her date other people and take some time for self care. She didn't lie to you or do anything wrong. She's just not as invested as you are right now. I wouldn't push it....at the same time, it might be best to check yourself a little bit, give yourself some room. Find some peace in your hobbies. It'll sort itself out. I've learned...rather, I continue to learn...not to make decisions when I'm wound up. Just let it ride for a bit and trust your instincts to tell you what's up.

ParallelsAndTangents [score hidden]

OP, I too inhabit the 505 area and would be cool with running as your wingman.

I too am single and looking and have become disappointed in the OLD scene and its arrogant female patrons.

I fully support your challenges and feedback from your plight and would be honored to participate in them both individually and as a team...

krolineart [score hidden]

We should share tips. The 505 has plenty of beautiful women...

PotatoKingMom [score hidden]

Good luck! I've been following your challenge and am rooting for you! Although, I think you could lessen your goal to ask one girl out in person a week and it would still be a very impressive challenge. The coffee shop girl...keep going to the coffee shop and hopefully you'll run into her again. (Especially since ABQ is not but so filled with places to go...) Keep us posted!!!!

krolineart [score hidden]

Thanks! I agree, the 3 person goal was a little too much. Aim high, though, right?!

krolineart commented on a post in r/Albuquerque
krolineart 3 points

I finished my degree in 2016 and never want to see the inside of a university again for the rest of my life. Lol. But I wasn't in the sciences, which tend to stay away from the politics of the university more so than the arts and humanities, which are a plague. But would I do it again? Yes. Unfortunately I would, simply for some of the connections I made with faculty.

krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
MostlyJust_Lurks 1 point

I'd totally take you up on that if I could swap the beer for a shot of Rumple Minze.

krolineart 2 points

I've never heard of Rumple Minze but it sounds like regret and a possible visit to the doctor for a "check up."

MostlyJust_Lurks 1 point

😂

It's 100 proof peppermint schnapps that tastes like a delicious candy cane in a glass. It has led to regret for me a time or three.

krolineart 2 points

I don't mind the occasional regret. They keep us alive!

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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
RawketLeeg 2 points

Pfft, lol.

There are women out there who fit both bills. Just boils down to whatever trips your trigger, I guess.

krolineart 6 points

I know, it's just the idea that he can limit himself to "I'm only interested in your intelligence ".... That sounds so pompous and false.

RawketLeeg 5 points

I'll have to update tomorrow and let you know how far my intelligence gets me. I mean, I'm not a dog or anything, but I also think he might be just posturing. Maybe I'll just bring a quantum physics textbook and we can both go nuts.

krolineart 3 points

Quantum phsyics....oh god I'm so rock hard now!

I just made things awkward, didn't I?

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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
thegooddoctor84 6 points

So this one time I had a cold and then a post-viral cough that nagged for a few weeks. I went on a date thinking the cough was under control. It started off great. She and I went to two breweries and were having a good time. But after beer #3, I noted the cough was starting to come back. I did my best to stifle it, but at one point I let out this sound that could only be described as a deafening cough-burp that echoed throughout the brewery.

I did go on a second date with her, but the vibe totally changed after that moment.

krolineart 1 point

Lol. This cracked me up. I also find it strange how the vibe can so drastically shift from one date to the next.

thegooddoctor84 2 points

It could've been the burp incident, or it could've been her bringing up religion on the first date and finding out how vastly different we are on that subject. Either way, it was an instant change. And kinda surprising she went with a second date.

krolineart 1 point

Yep. I've had one of those!

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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
krolineart 1 point

You're not the first person who I know who has had a lot of success on Bumble. I have sworn off dating apps for a while, but even when I was on them I was never successful with Bumble. I don't think many people are on it here in Albuquerque. It seemed to be mostly spam.
But when I visited home (Houston and Austin) last year, bumble was huge. It was like a dating mecca!

krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
krolineart 36 points

I couldn't get past "He acts as her personal shopper." Seriously, good luck with all of THAT.

NarwhalShmarwhal 3 points

Right!?? I don't get it.

krolineart 9 points

After I went through a divorce in which my spouse cheated on me, I really began evaluating what a good relationship was plus how I wanted to spend my life. It's been a little over three years now and it's taken that long to just figure out how to date again.
One thing I noticed early on, though, was how little tolerance I had for other people's b.s. and yet also became more tolerant, in a way. An example. Early last year I dated someone for the first time since my divorce. I dated her for about 3 months total, seeing her maybe once a week (our schedules didn't line up). It turned out she was a raging alcoholic. Now, she hid this well on our first few dates...which isn't hard to do during those initial dating stages. We all "put on our best faces" at those times. But pretty soon I saw it...like we'd be hanging at her house and she'd literally drink half of one of those disgusting wine boxes in a night.
I'm not a drinker at all. I don't go to bars, I don't drink nightly...I drink maybe once a month and I don't do drugs. I'm proud of this. My parents didn't drink and they didn't do drugs. So I found myself, about a month into this relationship, wondering "Why am I dating a woman who drinks like this? This doesn't make sense with who I am." I realized that the reason I was dating her was because I was lonely. And when I realized that, it kind of shocked me. Like..."Am I so lonely that I'm willing to date someone who is an alcoholic? Have I come to that?"
I'm a trail runner...long distance. I do my best to be in really good shape and to live a life free of vices like alcohol. I had friends who died because of addiction. It just didn't make sense that I'd date someone like this and it made my self esteem dip.
I broke up with her after those three months...I didn't have long conversations about it, I didn't fight with her about it, no long phone calls, or texts or emails. I simply ended it in about an hour of total conversation. I didn't "blame" her. I simply said I wasn't interested anymore. She attempted to explain her situation and why she drank so much, etc. But I stuck to my guns and I ended it and got out. Never called her again, never looked her up on facebook or any of that nonsense. Then I took another year off from dating...or dating seriously, to be more accurate. At 40 years of age (now) I'd finally figured out that it's just not worth dating someone who I don't like. lol. And while that seems like an overly simplistic way of looking at it...it's the truth. Your NEW boyfriend spends time with his ex...so much so that the moment you went on vacation he took the opportunity to go hang with her and "be her personal shopper." What are you doing? You've got virtually no time invested with this man (in relation to how long you've been alive or how long you've been in the dating world), you're already divorced once...why spend any time worrying about this? This isn't one of those "I love this person and this is part of who he is" moments. This is a GIANT red flag and you're setting yourself up here for failure. If you're seeking advice on reddit, clearly you aren't happy with how things are going. We all get lonely. We all put up with someone else's b.s. And sometimes it's worth it because we love that person and we accept that in order to love someone we must also love parts of them we do not love.
Those of us that have gone through a divorce experience relationships afterward differently, I believe. We want to repair the old relationship. We want to make things right by being better in the new relationship. Divorce can be an emotional scar...a darkness...that feels bigger than ourselves. It's terrible to go through a divorce, even as we can acknowledge that it is for the better. I didn't go through the pain of divorce, though, so that I could just end up in another relationship that is destined to fail. I do my best to listen to the signs in front of me. I don't invest in people who are miserable. Good luck to you.

Real_Sea_Witch 6 points

Hahaha this is adorable. Congrats on being brave. More updates please!

krolineart 1 point

Thanks! I will!

anotherworthlessman 11 points

I'd call this a win. Thanks for your courage and for the detail. I hope others can read this and see exactly what some people go through on the approach. It is not remotely a simple or easy thing.

1 down 2 to go;

krolineart 2 points

1 down 2 to go!

cameronlcowan -1 points

I like the idea but that’s a lot of going out, seeing people and spending money that just doesn’t appeal.

krolineart 2 points

Not really. lol.

cameronlcowan 1 point

Just my perspective. I’m not big on the bar scene.

krolineart 5 points

Yeah I don't do bars at all. Coffee shops, yoga classes, bookstores and target. And then random places.

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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
PopeLeoVII 16 points

rejection is never the issue.. its the honorless behavior in which they go about rejecting you, without simply coming out and saying it (ghosting, bread crumbing, etc) that causes me to pull out the precious beard

the lack of back bone in this day in age is down right embarrassing

krolineart 4 points

This is absolutely correct. People aren't held accountable now for their actions. I've sworn off online dating (mostly) for this exact reason and am going back to the old ways of actually meeting people in person.

krolineart commented on a post in r/drawing
4.2k
krolineart 2 points

Here's a great lesson for all beginners: notice the lack of variation in the lines...that's due to only using one pencil. Also notice the "sketchy" look of the outer line. That's due to lack of confidence in line work and just takes practice. The shading is nice but the whites are off....this needs more variation, especially around the upper heal area which is throwing off the angle quite a bit. Adjustments to shading would help make this look less awkward. Lastly, step back from your drawing every once in a while. I can just about guarantee you that the OP was working real close to the paper and never gave themselves distance, which would have helped resolve these issues. Nice work though OP.
Draw it again. -BFA, MFA Drawing

krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
krolineart 6 points

I'm going to try and reach a goal of asking out three women in person between now and Sunday. That is all.

herpaderpadont 5 points

May God have mercy on your soul :)

krolineart 3 points

I'll update you to let you know if I survived!

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krolineart commented on a post in r/datingoverthirty
krolineart 5 points

I just text about things I enjoy or things they've said they enjoy. I try and get to that first meeting as fast as I can because texting just loses people's interest so quickly.

Throwaythis12 18 points

I like to check for their availability. You be surprised how many people have 99 things going on ( then want to date) and only are available every 16th day and only on between 7-8pm..

krolineart 1 point

Yep! This. Why even bother!

krolineart commented on a post in r/WeWantPlates
krolineart 9 points

Even if the slates are aesthetically pleasing, this shows a lack of awareness on the restaurant owners part. Those tables will be messy to clean up, meaning that your bussers are going to take longer cleaning or they are going to be in the weeds and will do a poor job cleaning. There's just no benefit to serve ice cream on a slab...it's only to "look good." I love this sub.

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About krolineart

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